SECRETS OF A SHATTERED GIRL

Chapter 1: How my nightmare begun

As I looked down in muted fustration. I was with haziness as I stiffed this impotent anger that stired within me. The drowning voice of the principal zoned in and out as I tried to tune her out. "Do you understand your situation, Ms.kierah?" She yelled, spit flew all over the notes on her desk as I clenched my fist, a surge of pain instantly swept over. I instantly dispelled my thoughts of giving back a snarky remark "yes I understand Mrs.Evans and I'm truly sorry that this happend", I softly whispered. Silence lingered for a moment, and then I slowly looked up to see Mrs. Evans, with a peculiar look on her face she let out a deep sigh and replied, "Kierah, it may have not been long since I've known your mother, but Ms. Campbell knows her very well and how much she's struggling just to make ends meet. I wanted to shield her from all this, but I will not be covering for any student. It's like every time you young women enter high school, you make fools of yourselves. I promptly tried to defend myself, "but I..." she held her hand up as if she was about to hit me . I could see the disappointment written all over her face.

"Think we'll about your actions, is this how you make your mother proud? I was considering giving you a 3 day suspension however, since this is your first time I'm gonna let it slide with just a warning I've already called and inform your mother of you action I feel like that's punishment enough. Think well on your actions, young lady, and I'll see you and your mother this Thursday now get out of my office, " Mrs. Evans yelled furiously. So I promptly excused myself.

As I left the school compound and headed home, I decided to walk home. I took the short cut through the meadows as I walked dazed into the sky, watching as the blue sky with a tomato red and orangish hue. The sun was still blaming as it cast a lonely shadow behind me. Mrs.evans' previous words were living rent-free inside my head. " Is this how you make your mother proud?" Of course not, but it's not like she'd understand what I go through. I wouldn't have the chance to explain because to adults, children don't work, pay rent etc. Hmm, as if that's all of life's problems. Even tho things are really difficult right now, I couldn't even express or explain how I feel. Besides, I doubt she'd even listen better, yet I'm more afraid of being judged. She hardly seems to want to be around me, more to even listen. And every time she says things like " at this rate, I'd doubt you'd become anything in life or your worthless just like your stupid father." My anger burns, and all I want to do is just hate her forever, but the hatred never seems to stick it always dissappear after a while.

I know how much she struggles to make ends meet. That good for nothing, husband of her doesn't make things any better sometimes, I'd wish she just got divorced it's her life anyway. I love her regardless. When I grow up, I'm going to be well off so that I can take her and my siblings away to a better place to lead a better life. "Daddy, hehe." I heard a sharp joyfull cry sound out. As if magnetized, my head spun around seeking its source. Looking across Maple Street, I saw a child no older than five years old bubbling with excitement as she ran towards a man in uniform. Warmth spread across his face, and his voice laced with joy. " My little pumpkin, I've missed you," the man said. He scooped her up and twirled her around with ease as he hugged her gently.

In contrast to the loving affection being displayed, I felt dead inside. I couldn't even try to lit up a smile. I stood there empty. My life was nothing but a hive of locked doors and shattered keys. Happiness in my family was always temporary. It itself was running to find back joy. I quickly dispelled those thoughts and continued my journey, for I knew I was easy to cry. As I reached the crossing four houses down, knowing the fifth was my stop, I walked even slower, dazing, trying to forget the lecture that awaited. When I got home, I slowly proceeded through the gate. For a moment, I froze with hesitation, wondering if a lecture was the only thing I'd receive. Maybe she'll hit me, I thought. At that moment, I wanted to turn back and wait a little longer. However, my baby sister spotted me through the window "kierah" she shouted. Man, I was pissed I had no choice but to head inside. I removed my shoe, went inside, and told my mother good evening she didn't even respond so I headed to my room, took a bath, got dressed, and tried to hurry outside. Before I could, she stopped me. " Care to explain what happened," she asked. "Will you actually listen?" I replied.

As I was about to explain, she interrupted and said, " Don't even bother your nothing but a disgrace. You can't even set an example. I would rather not hear your sorry excuse. Just wait until I go to your school tomorrow. Instead of paying attention, you're at school wasting time. " As she stood there talking I zoned out for a bit " I wonder if I'm even your child you refuse to listen and make your own assumptions you don't even know what happened," I mumbled. " What did you just say?" She yelled," "Are you trying to speak back at me?" She grabbed a big spoon and smacked me in the head side with it as the pain surged throughout my body. I ran outside in the late evening, not caring about what will happen. When I came to the realization, I was far away from home on a lonely road. I wanted a breather, so I decided to sit upon the hill and clear my head, for I was drowning in my emotions. My life had already sucked and I was too much of a coward to end my life. So I sat there contemplating my life. I cried to relieve my feelings, and for a moment, I drifted off into my imagination it was the only place I felt safe. Then I remembered that tomorrow was the meeting, and I'd definitely be screwed. I wish I had somewhere to run away to, for I knew the Mrs.evans had all matter of lies to tell her tomorrow.