𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐎𝐟 𝐎𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎

012

Should I write my breakdown??? Will it be a good idea??
When I was seeking therapy in my first year of college. My therapist says to write down my twisted feelings whenever I break down.
She says , It will help me to know my feelings better and I will feel better.....

Obviously I thought It's a bullshit idea but something happened And I wrote my first journel that time.

Reaching to my drawer I retrieve a black dairy written "Death Note"
Yes , It's a merchandise of Death note. What? I'm a nerd , Leave me alone.

In the whole 8years , I've written only 9 journal. My therapist would be so proud of me.
That bitch should already gives me Her best Pychopath patient Award.
I deserve it
Literally...

I was just 18y old when I thought What would be the best idea than Writing Your pychopath thoughts in a death note??
A true anime weeb.

I opened the First Page.
My first journel ever .....

And I regretted my decision as soon as my eyes falls on the first journel.

12 August

The fuck .......
I never know that I will have the urgency to ever write in this Shit. According to me , Writing down your twisted feelings is bullshit.
And I thought maybe My therapist needs some therapy

But Something happened , and My mind hasn't been in a constant peace till then.

I just can't believe... I did it ....
With Ace???.......
The fuck
What was I thinking????
I'll just blame this on alcohol.

But I'm glad we agreed to never discussed this ever again and forget about it like it never happened in the first place...

It will be a secret between us and I will take it to my grave - expected the same from him too

Not that He would brag about it. He is regretting his actions as much as I'm ...

It's for the best , we can never be anything other than "strangers who happens to be bonded over same trauma"

Relationships and shits never fancy him and I've better things to do rathan than getting railed by someone on daily basis. ..

For now one , I just hope I woke up next morning and forget about it......

For two days Things are awakard between us. And I think it's cuz He's blaming himself for offering me drink for the first time.

But I want to assure him that It's okay and I'm little relief that He's the one who took my virginity and not some random guy in the streets ..... But that will makes things more awkward....

Note to self : I'm never gonna drink too much.

Kiyo

The fuck!!!! I felt like I'm reliving those moments now.
I was 18y old that time and It was my b'day so Ace took to Red Rose to celebrate.

I told him that I hate My birthday and Just wanna study but He never listens.
He said

"Don't be a bore , You're an adult now. You should behave like one. Drink , Dance and Fuck"

But The bar tender messed up with our drinks and Give us the red wine mixed with cocaine and esctasy.

After that I remember nothing what happened between us.
But I did woke up all naked in a
red rose 's private room with a sharp pain between my thighs and blood beside Ace who was naked too.