you and me, me and you

Iron Grip

"So, Amara, speaking of being my 'cowgirl' " They said, sitting back down 

My cheeks turned red. I was confident I was the one to bring it up. But they did. the script was completely switched and I didn't know what to do. My breath quivered and the air felt thick and heavy, like when you're under a blanket for too long. My face felt hot and my legs started shaking, my hands started shaking. My limbs felt like they were completely numb and I could only feel the heat that seems to be pouring out of my face. I couldn't speak. as much as I tried to open my mouth to get a sound out, my mouth was cemented closed like my teeth were glued together. 

"Mhm" I managed to mutter. I felt sick with excitement. My heart was skipping beats, I wasn't even sure it was pumping any blood.

"Its all I've been thinking about"

"What's 'it'?" I choked up

"You. Being my...ya-know" 

"Being your?" I wanted them to say it. I didn't want to say it. 

"Don't play dumb"

I stayed silent. They moved closer to me on the bed, I realised their hands were shaking too. The confident Bella I knew seemed not so confident with herself after all. She was just as nervous as me. She was a person. Nervous, scared. I had power over this conversation too. 

She put her hand over mine, and looked up at me behind those round glasses. Their other hand was nervously fiddling with their rings, spinning them around. I couldnt help but smile. 

"What-cha smiling at, hm?"

"Nothing" I said looking up, with a beaming smile and red cheeks

"Amara"

"Bella"

"Amara" They said more sternly 

I looked into their eyes, looked down at their lips for not even a second, and back up. 

"So?" They said 

"Sooooo"

"Do you want to?"

"Be yourrrr?" I teased, wanting them to finish the sentence. I pushed my hand closer to them, the edge of my hand was touching the side of their thigh

They took a deep, stern breath in and back out

"Be my..." they smiled. I kept silent, they knew what I was doing. I was so nervous. My lips were buzzing with excitement. Buzzing to kiss them. I wanted to kiss them. 

"Be my girl?" She finally said. My stomach dropped with a weighed down pound of butterflies. 

"I do" My tongue made me say. I felt like I wasn't in control of my own voice, looking into their deep brown eyes. Feeling everything I've felt for the past month all  coming into one big ball. I felt like the ball of feelings and emotion spiralled down from my brain, down my throat and into my mouth, pushing behind my lips

The ball of feelings made me speak, 

"Kiss me" 

Their eyes widened, and softened. They desperately cupped my cheek, and tilted my head to the side while sliding their hand to push their fingers through my hair. They locked eyes on my lips. They leaned forward and grabbed my thigh, their warm hands securing me.I put my hand on their soft cheek as I felt their breath stop. I parted my lips, and they did the same. Finally, they pushed their lips into mine. My body was frozen. Her lips were soft, and silken. I felt the soft tickle of her breath beneath my nose, my fingers carding through her hair. As we breathed each other in, our bodies got closer and warmth bursted into my chest. We let go of each others lips and stared eye to eye, open mouths just an inch away from each other. I smiled, then she smiled. And then I kissed her again. This kiss was short, but her lips were still sweet with passion just as they were seconds ago. We pulled away, both exhaling. I looked down and noticed the grip she held on my thigh still. 

"I didn't m- I was- Ive never done.. that" I stuttered out. I was in awe of what just happened. My breath was jumpy, and our faces were still so close. We were silent. In each others presence. I looked up and the quicksand feeling I got when I looked at her kept happening, kept coming to swallow me whole. I forgot everything else, as I remembered over and over again that we had just kissed. I forgot where we were. That my stuffed animals just saw us kiss. As a matter of fact, time seemed to stop as well. I fixed my mind on this date. This time. I existed in this moment and this moment only. My eyes remained on hers... where did we belong again? Probably here, just here where we were. Floating in the midst of one another. Their eyes were deep, brown, their little dipped nose and small lips. Their slight dimpled smile. 

"You're so pretty" She said with breath. they took their hand of my thigh and they smiled, a smile that showed their dimples. "I've been wanting to tell you that for awhile now" 

"Why didn't you?"

They shrugged, "Glad I waited until now though" They said, reaching towards my face and twirling a strand of my hair between their fingers. I smiled an ear to ear grin. They smiled back. 

"So," She slapped her hands on her thighs and stood up, then held her hand out for me to take, "Hungry yet?"

I took her hand and stood up with her, "Kinda, why do you want to eat?"

"Anything"

"Oh fuck. I don't have anything vegan. Okay, shit. Okay wait here for like 10 minutes" I said grabbing my keys and my wallet, running towards the front door 

"Where are you going!?" They yelled form my room, down the hall

"The super market!" 

"Do you want me to come?!"

"I'm making you a surprise dinner I'll be back soooonnnnn" I said, shutting the door behind me. I shoved on my headphones as I ran down the stairs. As I walked through the crowds and lights, I was thinking about that kiss. We kissed. And we're acting like we did before we kissed. Nothing changed about me and her. I could kiss her again and again and again and nothing would be different, she wouldn't laugh, or tell people I'm crazy or look at me funny. 

I could kiss her again and again and again, and she'd still hold the same iron grip on my heart like she did when I first met her. 

rbnnn44:

this.. took... so long to write.... and I low-key hate it I wont lie. I might rewrite it if I get better ideas idk it felt so rushed and weird im sos sorry if this is disappointing LMAO