Turn and Buck had arrived at Buck's door at around three in the morning. Buck looked through his pockets and thought to himself, "Shit, I don't have any keys," so he forcefully tapped on the door a few times to try to wake Lily up. Realizing he probably just terrified the very hell out of her, he added, "It's just me." Buck swayed unsteadily on his feet as he waited at the door. He shouldn't have been driving under the influence. But maybe, Lily wouldn't notice. From the utterly still room, he heard her moving around the apartment silently.
"Huh? It's three in the night, I thought you were coming home in the morning," Lily as she opened the door, asking while still essentially asleep. Buck told her, "Well, technically, it's the morning." Buck locked the door behind them after kicking his suitcase into it. "I'm sorry," whispered Lily as she put her arms around Buck's neck. Buck simply held her for a moment in silence before saying, "No, I'm so sorry." Buck had come to the exact place he needed to be right now. Currently too exhausted to talk much, they just relished being in each other's arms once more. "I like your new hair," Lily said to Buck. Buck said, "Thank you, but I have something more to show you as well." He then turned on the lamp.
He pulled up his sleeve, and Lily half expected to see cuts, but she was pleasantly surprised to see a little tattoo of a flower. "Hey, I got this for you because i love you so much." Lily smiles and says "I love you so so much. I don't wanna leave you ever, ever again." Lily looked into his eyes, frowning when she saw how huge his pupils were. Buck frowned too since he realized that Lily knew how high he was. "Oh, Buck..." She sighs as she walks back to the bedroom. Buck follows her and tries to explain. They walk down the hallway in silence. She sat on the bed and wiped a tear away. She just wanted Buck to explain why he was doing this to himself. Buck got on the bed too and curled up into Lily's lap. Lily ran her fingers through Buck's darker hair and listened to the sound of nothing but the outside sounds of the city. Her mind raced, nothing besides Buck's safety crossing her mind.
"I really do need help, huh," Buck said as his voice cracked and tears rolled down his face, which eventually fell onto Lily's sweatpants and left dark spots on them. Lily had been waiting for what felt like forever for Buck to say those words. She smiles and relief floods over her, since she knew that this was the first step for helping Buck. "Please, anything you need. I can get anything or help you with it, anything, please." Lily told him, not wanting to let him down when he was at his weakest and most vulnerable. Buck asked, with a terrified tone in his voice, "Are you gonna send me to rehab so I won't be able to see you again?" Lily blinks a few times and says "No. Unless that's what you really want." Buck shakes his head no.
Buck handed Lily two small bags of pills and a small bag of white powder as he dug into his pocket and said, "Get rid of these." She and Buck went to the restroom, where she dropped the items there and let Buck flush them away. "This is good," she continued, reminding him that the first step to tackling a problem is recognizing that you have one. Buck gave her a hug, and she softly stroked his back. Buck was at a loss for what to do after learning that he had effectively flushed his primary coping strategy down the toilet.
"When I'm clean, babe, I'm going to do something special for you. I swear. Although it'll come as a surprise, it'll be amazing for both of us." Buck told her that although Lily had no idea what he would be doing, whatever was driving him to do what he wanted to do was a good thing. She assured him, "I'll be waiting, but don't you think it'll be better if you would go to visit a rehab place-but not one where you would like to stay? But one that's more like an appointment? Just a detox place of some kind? We both know that going cold turkey isn't any better for you or your health. You know I've heard of people experiencing weird withdrawal symptoms like seizures" Lily questioned Buck, wishing only the best for him.
"Huh, like always, you're right, babe. If you think so, i think I'll do it." Buck said, and Lily said that she would try and call a few places to see if they could fit in Buck anywhere in the next couple of weeks. It was so important to her that Buck would get to be finally safe and happy and not constantly high and sick all of the time.
"I know this isn't gonna be easy and thats completely okay. I know you might relapse or slip up but that's okay. You're gonna be okay with me. You don't know how happy everything we do together makes." Lily told Buck, and he responds with "I'll be okay as long as i have you by my side helping me through it all." Lily smiles and kisses Buck's cheek again.
"Can we go to bed? I'm exhausted," Buck pleaded with her. Lily yawned, remembering that only Buck could get her up at three in the morning. "Being on the road wasn't what it was made up to be," Lily said to him, being here wasn't all it was built up to be. When Buck finally felt her sleeping next to him in bed. He said to Lily, "I know, if I ever do it again, I swear it'll be different." She only nodded drowsily, already dozing off.
Buck said to her as he brushed her hair out of her face as she slept, "Goodnight, Lills." He told her, "I love you, I know i'm the worst, and I don't deserve you.
Buck hurt Lily, but she also hurt him too. Each of them didn't feel rightly accusing the other of being hurtful. Together, they would improve and support one another. Nothing would ever stand in their way again because today marked the beginning of the rest of their relationship and everything will be different from this point forward. Sadly, it took the sad events to get them to this conclusion. It felt beyond weird to think about but Buck was just glad he was with Lily again, and Lily felt the same way.
