Just smile

Party

TW Homophobic slurs

The next day at school went too slow. It's like the clock would go down five minutes rather than up. It was probably my mind messing with me but it needed to stop, it made the day even more dreadful.

Maddy was sitting next to me in math class, writing in her bright pink notebook with one too many stickers decorating it. She'd look up at the whiteboard, where our teaching was writing the notes, then wrote it down before anyone else, doodling in the corner until the next note appeared.

I wished I could be as productive as her but I can't even get myself to pick up my pencil, let alone write page long notes.

She must've saw me looking at her notebook, "You can use my notes sometime after class, if you want?" She offered, with a sweet smile.

I looked up at her, "Huh? Oh- uh, yeah sure, that'd be great."

She just nodded and turned back to the board. I sighed and rested my head on the table.

After a couple minutes, I started to doze off until I felt something hit my head. I picked my face up off the desk and looked around to see the teacher standing with his hands on his hips, looking at me with a pointed look. "Quit snoozing in my class, Miller. You can do that when you get home."

The class laughed, as I rubbed my head where the cap hit.

"Sorry," I replied, sighing while rubbing a hand down my face.

He had already started writing more notes, ignoring my apology. I rolled my eyes and rested my head in my hands.

"Hey Miller," someone whispered from behind me in a mocking tone. I ignored it, I already knew it was someone I didn't want to talk to.

"Miller," he hissed, "Don't ignore me, Fag." Hearing that word was so normalized for me but it doesn't stop it from hurting.

He started repeatedly tapping me on the back.

I whipped around, "Stop touching me."

"I don't listen to fags," He smirked.

"Then you shouldn't talk to them either," another voice butted in, "Leave him alone." I turned to see Kai with a nonchalant look on his face.

Our eyes met as the other guy scoffed and leaned back in his chair. I looked away from Kai first, putting my head in my hands again. I really didn't have the energy to deal with people like them.

"Are you ok?" Maddy asked, worry prominent on her face.

No, I feel like I'm drowning.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." I gave her a close lipped smile. She looked over at the guy and Kai, seeming as if she was about to ask about them, but instead just smiled and nodded looking at the board. She didn't seem to not believe me, thankfully. I didn't want to be pushed on the subject.

I still felt Kai's eyes burning holes in the back of my head. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore so I turned around, sending a glare his way. "What?" I snapped.

"I'm hosting a party tonight," he stated, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Ok..." That's not what I asked. "What doe-"

He cut me off, "You should come."

My jaw fell agape, "Absolutely not, I don't do parties." He sent me a questioning gaze.

"Why?"

"I just don't." There was usually drugs at parties and I can't stand the sight of them. My fictional books and teenage drama movies might be over exaggerating high school parties but I'm not risking it. If there was some there I'd probably have a panic attack.