One Minute // T SHELBY

✧i guess it is✧

Miraculously, Malachi and Adrian never found out, but the idea of climbing onto her roof in her sleep was terrifying. One misstep on the slick roof tiles, and she could have fallen to her death. As she began to feel somewhat normal, new problems emerged, making her wonder if feeling normal was even possible.

Sometimes, she did feel normal, but it was a dull kind of normalcy. She was never the most attractive or amusing person at school, and she did not attract the attention of boys. She was a plain and unremarkable girl who could fade into the background without being noticed.

But when Alfie brought her into his world, she felt less normal, but in a good way. She gained power and respect that she had never experienced before. She could walk into a room, and people would recognize her, but it came with a price. They knew who she worked for and, in turn, who she was.

The smell of marijuana lingered in her bedroom and was sucked out of the cracked window into the afternoon air. Her eyes itched from the night before's breakdown after a nightmare refused to allow her to go back to sleep. Things were fine but she had an itch in her brain that told her nothing in her life was going well.

Gwen sat by the window, smoking and thinking, a combination that never worked well for her. She was relieved that she and her brothers were back in London, away from the Shelbys. There was something about them that made her uneasy, and Thomas Shelby's blue eyes were still etched in her mind.

She found Thomas intriguing but also slightly unnerving. There was a blankness in his gaze that reminded her of her mother, and it unsettled her. Brown and blue eyes may seem different, but the pain they carried was the same.

Her mother had suffered in her own way, and the Shelby brothers had endured the horrors of war. She couldn't help but wonder if her own brothers would have the same look in their eyes if they had gone to war and survived.

They called Thomas Shelby the Devil, but she didn't know if he was blessed to have survived or if those around him were cursed to suffer from his ruthless ways.

She didn't know which one was the truth.

"I've heard you are going to a party if I am not mistaken," a voice called into her bedroom from the doorway. She lazily looked from the road below to Adrian calmly leaning on her wall with no expression.

"Yes, I am. Mariposa invited me to a club to get me out of the house," she sighed thinking about having to exert energy in getting ready. Her wardrobe was stocked with gorgeous dresses and her dressing table had luxurious foreign makeup but it didn't tantalize her as it had before.

Merely just materialistic things that she would gladly give away if it would help make life happier.

"I think that is a good idea by the looks of your bedroom," his tone judging as he entered and looked at the full ashtray of burnt marijuana and cigarette ashes.

"It helps, Adrian."

"It doesn't seem to be helping shit, Gwendolyn. Malachi and I are worried, even Alfie can see something is wrong. We need you to make things go smoothly. You need to get it under control," Adrian stressed while lighting his cigarette. His words burned her ears with anger bubbling inside her heart. Gwen wasn't sure if an argument was what he was coming for or if he did care to see why she acting differently.

"If it were as easy as brushing under the rug I would've."

"Malachi and I find no trouble doin' it," he sneered as he paced the creaking floorboards below his polished shoes.

"You were not the one it happened to, it was me. I carry the burden of what mother did in front of my own eyes. You both only saw what came afterward but I saw it happen. Do not mistake my pain for weakness because if I could be as heartless as the two of you I would have rid myself already!" She hurled into the silent room, unable to hold her frustration in her mind.