Painted by Fate (✔️)

Chapter 43

Naiiyak na ako at hindi mapakali dahil ang reaksiyon niya'y hindi nagbago. His face was still stern and cold. His stare was making me uncomfortable. Parang mas gusto kong tingnan ako nang malamig kaysa ganito na kung tingnan ako ay tila gumawa ako ng malaking kasalanan.

" M-Mi dispiace--"

"Nothing happened if that's the reason why you cried," he cut me off. "If you trust me, you'll quickly believe." Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang kaseryosohan ng kaniyang mukha na tila unti-unti akong pinapaso hanggang sa maging abo ako.

May nagawa ba akong hindi ka-nais-nais kagabi para gawaran ng ganiyang tingin? Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin dahil hindi ko na kaya. I was like an accused criminal that being set up. I trust him a lot so I quickly believed. Wala na rin namang dahilan para mangyari iyon.

I nodded to denote that I believe him.

"I was the one who brought you here in my condo last night. You were so drunk. You can't even remember what you said and did." He already stood up, but I was able to see the smirk that has drawn on his lips. Nakita kong naka-itim siyang short.

My eyes accidentally on his half naked body. Mas lalo na iyong na-depina, as if developing improvement for the past months. It was very well sculpted. Malaki ang pinagbago.

I quickly looked away. I was distracted by the vision of his body that I reacted late to his words. Kabado akong tumingin sa kaniyang nakatalikod, hawak ang phone. Dahan-dahan kong tinakpan ang katawan ng blanket dahil nahihiya.

"C-Cosa ho detto... E fare? (W-What did I say... and do?") It was almost inaudible.

He glanced at me. He still has that stern expression but it was mixed with another... he was teasing me through this stare. I can sense the familiarity because I know him so well.

Nahihiya ulit akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Can you stop speaking Italian? You're acting like we're merely strangers, and I fucking loathe that," he said, not erasing the annoyed knot on his forehead.

I lowered my gaze because of embarrassment. "S-Sorry..." That's all I could say.

"I'm not deaf. You've said that for how many times already. It annoys me so much."

I flinched because of his vivid angry voice. Kulang na nga lang ay taasan na ako ng boses. Napalunok ako, pinipigilan ang mga luhang maglandas ulit. I've always hated raised voices because it's traumatizing... given the scene that I had to witness when I was a kid, my father raising his voice at my mother angrily. Dahil sa narinig mula kay Nathaniel, parang magkatulad silang dalawa kung galit.

Hindi na lang ako nagsalita dahil ang sakit niyang magsalita. I get it that I deserve this because I was the one who hurt him first... but I can't control myself being pained. Tumalikod na lang ako't inilagay ang ulo sa mga tuhod.

Napapikit ako nang bumalik sa isipan ang sigaw ni Papa kay Mama noong bata ako. It was always traumatizing... Kaya sa tuwing tinataasan ako ng boses ay nabibigla ako at umiiyak agad dahil pakiramdam ko... ang laki ng kasalanan ko.

Napamulat ang mga mata ko nang maalala ang rason kung bakit nga ba ako uminom kagabi. I hugged my knees and silently sobbed, not minding Nathaniel being around. I wished I've entirely forgotten everything. I thought no revelation had just unveiled yesterday.

I wished I could be nothing. I wished I just merely existed without parents...

My mother was already dead a long time ago...

"Hey..."

Napatigil ako at lumingon. Nasalubong ko ang mga mata ni Nathaniel na ang kalamigan ay natunaw na. May suot na siyang gray na shirt.