dingus | haitani rindou

twenty three

For sure, he was ashamed to eat lunch alone in the cafeteria so the rooftop was the safest spot since students are not allowed to have lunch up there, but Rindou has no fucks to give.

As much as Rindou would like to sometimes boast about himself and also act like he's almighty or something, he is still just a 17-year-old boy and most definitely, an insecure one.

His actions show that he doesn't care about what other people say but in reality, he does.

And also, the perception people have of him matters to him too much, to the point that he doesn't even know which lens or perception is the real truth of him.

Meaning, which Rindou in people's heads is the real him?

Even he can't tell who he is.

And right now, where he is sitting now is just proving the point even more.

Rindou doesn't know what to feel with this treatment of yours.

Is he angry?

Nope.

He's not at all.

Because he understands why you would start to doubt him, especially after knowing about his reputation in Roppongi. Most certainly your trust in him will start to deplete.

Is he sad?

Yes. The most.

This is the longest friendship he had ever made with someone and he must say that he would like to give a pat on your shoulder because you just broke the record for being the longest friend he has. Because all the previous ones just ended up leaving him, either because they couldn't stand him or it would turn out they liked Ran better.

But yeah. He still remembers that you two had a deal. So in the end, that friendship was just because Rindou deadass asked you to be his friend.

So it was bound to end if following Rindou's speculations.

When a fight happens, he assumes that it'll just be a small one and that eventually, his friend would go back to him. But no, they all end up leaving him and not a single word is ever again uttered between them.

Rindou knows that it's selfish of him to expect people to resolve the conflicts that he has while he would just sit still and wait for their arrival. It's a friendship, it's supposed to go both ways and both need to make an effort to save the friendship.

But Rindou sure hates confrontation.

It's one of his biggest fears.

This is probably why the dispute he has with people would always turn out to be unresolved.

And to make it even more painful, it happened between him and the person he loves the most. It was the first time he ever spoke about how he truly feels and somehow he couldn't hold himself back, he lashed out and let out the cruelest words he ever thought of.

And he had no time to tell the person how much he loves them.

Because he was too late.

Never had he expected that the person would leave him so soon.

So that's why Rindou doesn't like having confrontations and speaking about his feelings. He bottles them up so much that he has no idea when all of that hurtful feeling that is deep down inside of him will ever explode.

He was scared of what he would turn out to be.

What will he even be in the future?

Is he going to stay stagnant and only be interesting when Ran is by his side?