Red vs Blue recreation male oc

Directions

Sarge: Three of you, shut up! I need to think of a way out of this mess.

Grif: You mean the mess you navigated us into?

Alex: Delta do you have any ideas!

Delta: I suggest we listen to the man on the intercom.

Sarge: How about you shut up computer program idot. And why don't I come over there and beat you to death!

Grif: (glances around) Pft. Okay, bring it. Just stroll on over here across the mine field and beat me to death.

Sarge: Maybe I will.

Delta: I highly recommend you don't do that.

Grif: Bring it!

Intercom announcer: Look, we can hear you talking. Do not move! Kay? Seriously!

Sarge: Grr.

Caboose: It's not my fault. I'm not moving. I'm not even thinking about moving.

Alex: Sarge stand down or we will die!

Grif: Sarge, since we may not make it out of this, maybe there's a few things I should tell you. You know. Since you can't reach me.

Sarge: Grif...

Grif: Like the reason why I never listen to you. Or never follow your orders. And why I don't think anything you say is ever important.

Sarge angrily grumbles.

Grif: But I want you to understand, Sarge. It's not because I'm lazy. It's because I don't like you. Or respect you. In any way. I have no positive feeling for you.

Sarge reloads his shotgun.

Grif: Now I imagine it can be pretty hard to be an ineffective leader with no respect—

Sarge shoots the shotgun. Grif is unharmed.

Grif: --who doesn't understand that his primary weapon has an effective range much shorter than most weapons, but I think since we're gonna die anyway, you deserve to know that.

Intercom announcer: All right. I'm back. Ready? We're gonna guide you out of there.

Delta: Sarge I suggest you stand down.

Grif: (laughs nervously) You know I was kidding, right?

Cuts back to Valhalla. Lopez is walking away from the Blue Base. Simmons catches up to him.

Simmons: Hey Lopez! Wait up! Hey man, I need some explosives.

Lopez doesn't reply.

Simmons: To blow up Blue Base? You know... did Sarge give you the key to the weapon locker?

Lopez: Sí.

Simmons: Okay. I need about 50 kilos of plastic explosives. Technically five should do it, but I really want to blow the fuck out of that thing. Can you go get it for me?

Lopez: . [I will look into that.] (doesn't move)

Simmons: Uh... I need it right now?

Lopez:  [Yes. I'll get right on it. Look at me go.]

Simmons: Hmm. You don't seem to be moving.

Lopez: Sí.

Simmons: This is about that robot comment, isn't it.

Lopez: [Maybe.]

Cuts back to Sandtrap, at the Elephant.

Intercom announcer: Okay, gentlemen. Here's how we're going to do this. We'll guide the two guys in front out, and you two in the jeep, just follow them.

Grif: Okay!

Alex: We get it.

Caboose: Uh, I'm scared.

Intercom announcer: All right. Start by taking two steps forward and then turn to your right.

Sarge: A step ain't exactly a standard measurement, buddy.

Delta: Sarge I suggest you do as is said.

Intercom announcer: Just a step.

Sarge: Yeah, I get it! But what's a step? Like this? (takes two steps forward, then two back) Or this? (sprints forward – right into a mine that explodes; Sarge jumps back, unharmed) Whoa!

Delta: To far.

Intercom announcer: Just a step!!

Sarge: [quickly] Okay, no problem, just a step!

Intercom announcer: All right. Now, walk four steps to your right.

Sarge: You mean our right?

Intercom announcer: Yes.

Caboose: Our-our right? Or your-our right?

Intercom announcer: There is no "my-your right!"

Sarge: Is left north to you? Or is it... or, on the compass, which way?

Caboose: Uhh, what about—

Intercom announcer: Just walk to your right!!

Sarge and Caboose walk to the left, only to rush back seconds later.

Intercom announcer: No!!

A mine goes off.

Sarge, Caboose: Sorry!

Grif: You know what? I just can't take this anymore. Fuck it.

Alex: Grif!

Delta: This is highly illogical!

Grif drives off. Sarge and Caboose do so as well.

Intercom announcer: Yeah, uh, fuck it, just run!

Hordes of explosions come out of nowhere.

Sarge: Son of a—

More explosions occur.