do you like him or something? // xingyun

4

"How was school?" His mother, Miko, called from the kitchen upon hearing the front door open. Xingqiu sighed loudly, walking over to sit at the kitchen counter on one of the stools. "Hey, what's wrong?" 

His mother was the perfect person to ask about romance, considering she had been divorced and was now married again not too long after, "Um, can I ask about yours and Miss Ei's relationship?"

"You can just call her mom." She corrected, turning her back to the stove.

"I'm not comfy yet," Xingqiu frowned, "Anyways. Did you and her ever fight before you started dating?"

Miko began giggling, "Did we?" Xingqiu didn't pick up her tone, so she dropped the playful demeanor. "Of course we did. It's quite easy to disagree on things sometimes."

But Xingqiu was confused. He had always heard mixed opinions on whether couples fight or not, and if it signals the health of a relationship. Xiangling had said couples do fight, it's normal, whilst wiser elders such as Zhongli said it shows the relationship is coming to an end. "Did you ever have a big fight? Like one that could've potentially ruined you guys?"

"...Did something happen?"

Xingqiu groaned as he hid his face in his arms, "I don't know if I'm ready to say it."

"Chongyun?"

"How does everyone know?!" The boy gaped in disbelief, "It's like every person I tell, they link it to him so, so fast."

Yae sighed, "Admittedly, I did have my suspicions, but you're just so closed off about your sexuality. You can tell me anything, it's not like I'm homophobic."

"Clearly." Xingqiu muttered before speaking up, "I told him I liked him, and he said he'd think about it, uh yeah." He didn't want to give the whole story, he didn't think it'd be a good idea to tell his own mother how he was saying slurs and being homophobic at school.

"Okay. That's not bad at all? Are you missing a few details?" Miko squinted her eyes in suspicion. "Are you keeping something from me?" Xingqiu began to sweat, she could be intimidating sometimes and she was his own mother. He decided there was no finding a solution to this, so he ripped.

"...Before that, I told him um... That I'm not some f word."

That didn't give a lot of hints as to what he said, so Miko pushed on. "F word?"

"Fag-"

"Xingqiu?!" Miko sharply shouted his name before quieting down, "Is this why you don't have people over here anymore? You're ashamed of having lesbian parents?" She went on a tangent, immediately pacing around the kitchen to avoid an outbreak, "I didn't raise you to be this way. I've always told you to be who you are, even if you were out as gay, it's still a harmful word! The fact that you said you're not some 'faggot' is beyond me..."

Xingqiu bit his lip nervously before speaking again, "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I apologized to him."

"You still said it, and from the sounds of things, this isn't the first time you've said it anywhere." Yae stopped pacing and rested her elbows on the kitchen counter, leaning slightly towards her son, "Unless you want to go and apologize to everyone you've ever bullied for being gay, I'm going to need your phone for a few weeks.

She didn't expect Xingqiu to actually hand over his phone. "I was just trying to fit in. Everyone else does it, they're all homophobic. I'd be the victim if I defended the bullied kids." He held back some tears, he couldn't handle being lectured like this.

"Alright. Do you want to move schools? A fresh start?"

Xingqiu shook his head, "No, I want to be around my friends."

"It doesn't sound like those friends are a very good influence."

So Yae thought his friends were homophobic? He never hung around with them too often because of what they've heard him say, but they're his real friends and he's glad to have people he can talk to about something that wasn't quite socially accepted yet. "No, they're all LGBTQ, they're just not out about it. They've been trying to resolve mine and Chongyun's mess."

"That's your mess to solve." 

"I know-"

The front door slammed close, they hadn't even heard it open, Scaramouche walked in, "What's going on?"

Miko glanced at Xingqiu before looking back at her other son. "Xingqiu was just telling me about his day, do you know how he's been acting at school?"

Xingqiu held his breath, he didn't need Scara to know all about what happened, until the boy revealed something. "I heard about it, yes." Xingqiu jumped up suddenly, perhaps he spoke to Chongyun?

"Did you speak to Chongyun?" He was desperate to know how he was doing, Xingqiu hadn't even mapped out yet how he'd make it up to his 'friend'.

Scaramouche nodded, Miko's eyes flickered between them. "I did, yes. But I can't say too much, I said I'd keep my mouth shut."

Xingqiu blinked. Scaramouche wasn't the type to do that, he didn't usually care about keeping secrets, he was super easy to crack. "Please tell me?"

"No."

Both of their heads turned when their mother sighed. "Scaramouche, I completely support the idea of you finally being able to keep secrets, but this could be super useful."

He paused for a few seconds. "Okay. He wasn't that willing to tell me much, but he 'doesn't know' if he likes you or not." Scaramouche revealed, "Anyways I'm going to my room, I refuse to help any further."

As soon as he had left the room, Xingqiu glued his eyes to Miko. "That's exactly what Xinyan and Xiangling said, he doesn't know if he likes me. What does that even mean?"

"That he isn't sure? Or he knows the answer, and is just trying to confirm it." 

Xingqiu sighed, "He's trying to confirm if he hates me now?" Yae shook her head, he really did not know how to read body language, did he?

"Not at all. From the few times he's been over here, I'd say that he likes you."

That didn't make sense to Xingqiu. If Chongyun liked him, wouldn't he have accepted his confession on the spot? But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wouldn't accept a confession from someone who was having a meltdown, either. He'd save his answer for another time. "How? There's still a chance he doesn't like me even if he's saving the conversation for a later date."

"You're really confirming the theory that other people can only ever see who likes you, you can never see for yourself." Miko let out a loud exhale, "I want you to confess to that boy properly."

"I'm surprised you didn't have a shock at the fact that I like Chongyun."

It had him thinking if him distancing himself from Chongyun even did anything, people still thought they were together or had a mutual crush? He nearly got lost in his thoughts before he heard Yae's response. "I've known for ages, I found a scrap piece of paper you wrote on ages ago."

"What paper?"

"The one that you used as a diary before I got you an actual one."

Also known as the paper where Xingqiu wrote in excruciating detail about his feelings for Chongyun. His mother had seen and probably kept that, how fantastic.

"Oh."