𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞; eugene roe ✔

PART ONE

"Assistance?" I looked at him through the mirror, holding onto a piece of ribbon by my neck.

He nodded contently, putting down the coffee and coming over. His fingers pinched onto the ribbon and I dropped my arms.

"Will... Herr Dietrich be there?"

The whole time my eyes were on the floor, but at this I glanced up. I noticed the bruises beneath his collar, not for the first time, and something fell within me, in its place a layer of empathy. Teo was sixteen, fifteen even, we don't really know, and had seen too much of the world already. I'd known him since before the war; I watched how his smile slowly changed.

I hated what I had to say, "We need everyone, Teo."

"So yes?" He chuckled.

My eyes fell downwards again, "Yes."

"That's okay." Teo cleared his throat. "I don't know what I was expecting."

"Does he not like anything else?" I questioned abruptly; was there anything which would prevent more bruises?

"You don't know what he likes. This is the best of it."

I recalled a Herr Baumann, the man I would persue before he was called to the front lines and a few weeks later shot dead by the Allies. He had a preference to contact in a similar way Herr Dietrich did. If I could, I would trade anything for it to be me in Teo's place. Unfortunately, I was a woman. Herr Dietrich didn't like women. Not in that way.

"There you are." Teo stated, finished with the ribbon.

"What do you think?" I twirled, trying to clear the air.

"Gorgeous, Valentina."

We left it at that. After the coffee and rum, all of us gathered in the entrance hall, handbags on elbows, perfume circulating the air. The four of us were there, waiting for our fifth. Teo, Emilia, myself and a girl named Metilda. At the sound of Sascha's heels making their way down the stairs, I swallowed.

"Ready?"

Everyone nodded.

"Remember, home by three. If you aren't home by four, we will consider you compromised unless word is sent."

More nods. We smiled at each other, knowing it could be the last. It was weird to hear the orders from me - the last ball was a month ago and a month ago this whole operation was lead by someone else.

Eventually we joined a migration of other men and women attending the party. Every person in that village, despite us, was a Nazi or Fascist in some way or another; any where else you'd expect to see some fleeing gestures or disinterested looks. Some sort of reluctance. Here, finding that resulted in assaults, beatings and death. For this was a place where Herr Hitler himself visited regularly and anything which spoke against his rule resulted in your life being taken away. Along the walk, I picked up on the many rumours that he would be attending tonight. I would've believed it, had the same concoction of words not collected every time the Nazis held a celebration.

The building - a castle-like structure on the top of a mountain - had been decorated in all kinds of lights and candles, red flags draped here and there. As we entered, I made sure no-one had split up during the journey, like my predecessor had taught me. Confident, I faced forward, taking in the room we emerged into. I had been inside the building an abundance of times and every time they found a new way to present it. A large area in the middle of the floor for dancing, tables and chairs covering the space around it - that was the normal. Tonight, however, there was more silver and tinsel. More sparkling wine and drunk officers. Only later did I find out it was because a lieutenant was celebrating his last night as a single man.

"Frl Fritz."

All the women and men had spread out, finding their seats. I pivoted to my name, met with the neighbour from earlier.

"Herr Weinder." I found myself examining his suit.

We took our place at a table towards the back of the room, by a large window which permitted the watching of the lake down below. I observed my friends do the same, regarding Teo as he conversed with Herr Dietrich.

"You are absent today."

My head shot towards the man, surprised by the change of language.

"How?" I responded, not very familiar with the dialect.

Herr Weinder changed the subject, "What is your relation to the boy?"

"He is my..." I couldn't find the right word. "He is my ward."

In reality, Teo was just a boy I grew up with who's parents died in the early years of the war.

"Ah." Herr Weinder pulled out a cigarette case from his inside pocket.

He offered me one and I declined.

"Why don't you go dance."

"Why would I do that?"

"Find yourself another man."

"I have another man." I glowered, leaning on the armrest of my seat.

Herr Weinder puffed on his cigarette, his eyes landing at my feet and trailing upwards. I wanted to throw up.