𝐸𝑑𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑖𝑟𝑒 || 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑊𝐻𝐼𝑇𝐸 𝑄𝑈𝐸𝐸𝑁

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐿𝑋𝑋𝑋𝑉

"We were immature" she said slowly "immature and stubborn and that led to us doing things that we both regret"
"What do you regret?"

"My stubbornness" she admitted, smiling slightly as she cuddled a little closer to Richard, taking comfort in the warmth of his body beside hers.
They had always preferred to avoid conversations that discussed their early marriage, especially in the more recent years but now, still in the afterglow of their lovemaking and free of their duties as King and Queen for a while, they found the words came easily to their lips.

They knew there would be no anger, no reproaches from either of them and were safe with their admissions without the fear of argument "I did not want to like you, my mind was determined not to at first. I have never liked being forced into things and our marriage was so life changing that I could do nothing but rebel against it....I regret my pettiness too, I remember I could twist your words into my own creation just to start an argument.... and you? What do you regret?"

Richard looked up at the canopy of their bed for the moment, thinking before he spoke. He still found it strange that they now resided in the Queens rooms and not the ones they had kept at court for over a decade. They did not feel like their own as if they were intruding in some way.

The King's rooms still lay untouched and had done since Edward had died. Richard felt no need to use them for he wanted to stay with Eleanor and couldn't bear the thought of sleeping in separate chambers from her and she didn't want to away from him either. He knew some of the courtiers thought it odd or a sign of weakness on his part but he didn't care.

He had never allowed for the other nobles to dictate his actions and just because he was now King wouldn't mean that would change.

"My coldness" he said at last "I practically ignored your existence for the first months of our marriage simply because I didn't want to think about it! And when Jaquetta died I was so distant, so unfeeling towards you when what you needed was love and comfort!" A deep frown came across his face as he hesitated slightly and held Eleanor a little tighter to him "And then.... then that I ever even thought to raise and hand against you, let alone go through with it! That has always been something I have regretted and I always will, I would give anything to take it back" Eleanor shuffled up the bed a little, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"You know I forgave you for that many many years ago, my love, and the fault wasn't entirely yours, I provoked you. Jesus, I threaten to drown Kit and Johnny in a river!" Her eyes widened as she remembered the words of poison she had uttered in her anger and shook her head "If anyone threatened our children I wouldn't just hit them! I'd burn them alive!"

"That doesn't make my actions right...and I'm sorry for them"
"I'm sorry too....there's something that's always made me curious"

Richard arched an eyebrow, the corners of his lips quirking upwards into a curious smile that Eleanor returned.
"Oh?" He asked "And what might that be my darling?"
"What did you think of me before our marriage? You knew I existed that's certain but did you ever think of me after we first met?"

Richard laughed a little, looking up at the canopy again while Eleanor played with his hair, weaving her fingers through his black curls while she waited for her answer.

"Not much I suppose" he murmured "but I remember thinking of you as 'the red headed one' and for a time. The red headed one that stole my brothers title" Eleanor sat up, amused.
"Stole?" She echoed with a grin "I think you'll find Edward gave it to me!"
"I know I know!" He conceded "And I don't dislike you for it now but I remember for a time after you had it I did. I thought that we should have left Edmunds title alone..."