the streamer next door | dreamwastaken x reader fanfic

CHAPTER TWENTY (GO FOR A DRIVE?)

I sing along to Dream's part. "But if I never step outside.. Of my comfort zone here in my home"

"You know this song?" Clay asks with a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah, I've been listening to Alec for years. Dream's a minecraft youtuber, I think." I add the 'I think' for some reason. Maybe to ensure he won't figure out my identity.

"Yeah, I love Alec Benjamin. I just didn't know you did." he shrugs as he nods along to the chorus.

"Oh yeah, for sure. This song's really good, too." I start to sing along again.

He smiles at me while I sing. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing. I just think you're really cute, y/n." He says.

My face turns into a fiery mess. "Oh, thank you."

"Thanks for asking me to come," he says as he turns to face the road, "you have no idea how much I needed to get out of that apartment."

I sigh, feeling more aware of the pit in my stomach. "Yeah, of course. I really didn't want to be alone tonight. I thought it could be fun."

"It really was," he nods in agreement.

It's quiet as we continue the drive. Once the song is over, I turn the music down a little.

Clay is one of the only people who knows about my dad. Maybe he can help me get this weight off my chest. I mean, I'm having fun while singing, but the whole time I had a pit in my stomach.

I don't talk until we're halfway through the next song.

"My dad died three years ago today." I say quietly, holding back tears. It feels good to let it go finally. I already feel relieved.

"Oh, I'm sorry, y/n. Do you want to go home?" he asks in a gentle voice.

"No, usually I want to stay home and do absolutely nothing, but this year I felt different. I wanted to be anywhere but home." My voice cracks a little as I speak.

"Well, we can stay out as long as you like." He reaches over and touches one of my hands to comfort me.

"Thank you," I sniff. We're quiet for a couple minutes before I speak again. "I just feel like I'm finally accepting that he's gone, and that scares me. What if I forget about him, Clay? Now that it's not a rock in my chest every second of every day of my life? I can't forget him, Clay."

"You are not going to forget about him, okay? He's forever going to be your dad, and you'll never forget that. You'll think of him with so many little things in your life. Like poker, remember how you told me that he always loved to play poker?"

I smile at the fact that he remembered. "He really did. Lost a lot of money doing that."

He smiles a little too. "Y/N, your dad sounded like an amazing person."

"He was. Y'know, I don't even know the last thing I said to him?" I ask him as I turn the volume down even more. "It was in the hospital. I just.. I shut down while I was there. I might've said one thing to him, and I don't even remember it." I wipe a tear from my face. "I shut down for weeks after he died, just thinking of everything that could've gone differently."

He sits and listens to me as I ramble.

"We didn't have the best doctors. We couldn't afford that. I dropped out of college and got a job, but it wasn't enough. He was so mad at that. 'y/n, school is important. We will figure my medical bills out' is what he would say. If only he could see me now. I could pay for a pretty decent doctor for him now. I really could."