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ASIAN JERMEISHA

I wouldn't say I lived a bad child hood

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I wouldn't say I lived a bad child hood. Like at all. My childhood was pretty decent until I turned 8.

When I turned 8, my momma and daddy broke up. I got a step dad like 2 years later. And I had just turned 10. My momma never rlly liked me and my step dad relationship so she broke up w him.

My step dad moved away. From our house, from the state bc he just so hurt. He rlly loved me and my mom and she just broke up w him.

Not bc he cheated, not bc she wasn't happy, it was all bc of me...

When he left, I basically cried my eyes out that whole week bc it happened on a Monday. I miss my step dad fr.

But as I got older and in high school, I just totally put allat shit behind me. Now let's get to when I got around 13-14.

When I turned 14, I started getting rlly indecisive of who I wanted.

I had these two niggas that I rlly liked. My brother never wanted me to talk to no niggas from the block or any football or basketball player like fr.

I definitely understood where my brother was coming from bc he was very overprotective of me and still is. He's in jail now tho.

There was these two boys. Aiden & Asrael. Aiden was a football player. Asrael was from the block.

I rlly liked Asrael more than Aiden bc he was rlly cute and funny. He understood me more than anyone. But Aiden he was abt the same. But Aiden always got me roses and shit. And Asrael was just a nigga that always appreciated me and dmed me everyday and asked was I good.

But that all changed and ended when they found I liked both of them and been doing different shit.

So they both stopped talking to me and moved on probably. But that shit still haunt me til this day.

I'm scared that shit gon happen to me again bc I rlly be liking these niggas and they find out I been talking to both of them and they both leave and Neva talk to me again.

So if a nigga do come in my life and I like them fr, but anotha nigga come in the picture and just fuck everything up cause ima start liking him first.

So as of right now, I haven't met no one yet. And the last time I had a boyfriend was when I was in 6th grade. I was 11, turning 12. So yea. So that's why I was 14 in the 9th grade.

I am still very indecisive...

and I hope one day...

I can change that shit.

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