Draw your swords

15. The distance

Those who violate his rules will meet certain doom. The Darkling has many virtues, but forgiveness is not one of them.

"Should I have them prepare the carriage or your horse?" Polina blinked fast, looking to the table before Kirigan instead of making direct eye contact.

The thought of leaving made him physically sick, but he had to go. "My horse. I don't want to stay too long and if anything comes from that Fold, I want to be notified immediately."

While Aleksander headed back to Little Palace, Naira and the rest of her crew were resting for a few days.

General Zlatan was away for a mission as he was not told any early sandskiffs would be arriving. They found themselves room in the First army's camp on the other side of the Fold.

"Your cots are more comfortable", Mal states. "It's making it hard to sleep."

Chuckling, Naira turned to her side. Their cots are side by side, two feet away. "So, things are too good now? You always have something to complain about, don't you?"

Opening his left eye, he glanced at her fondly. While he's been reeling from a tragic loss he experiences a year ago, he never once thought about moving on.

Until now.

Snorting, he shakes his head.

"What?" Naira deadpans.

How could he possibly dare say what's on his mind now? She looked at him and his world felt like it shifted in her direction. Developing feelings for a woman who married General Kirigan? It's suicidal, absolute madness and he knows that yet as the wind blows, he picks up her lilac scent and his mind is no longer operating on logic.

He opens his eyes, "Do you love him?" Mal frowns as her eyes widen as if no one had ever asked her that and his question forced her to face her own emotions.

"Why would you ask me that?" Her voice is quiet, fragile. The very thought of her husband fractured her mind. All she wanted now was to go home, back to her heart – back to Aleksander.

Even though she returned to where she was raised, where home once was, it felt empty without her mother there. It only reminded her of the constant struggle between her humanity and her Sun Summoner destiny. Whichever she chooses, she'll be damned in someone's eyes.

"You married him", Mal parts his lips. "We were under the impression it was an arranged marriage, but", he pauses as if the words he's about to utter are coated in poison made to stop his heart. "What I saw didn't seem like a forced marriage. It felt like a love match."

Turning on her back, she let out a long, heavy sigh. "Go back to sleep, Mal."

Talking about Aleksander would only bring forth tears she's trying to push down. Her lips quiver despite the pressure of her front teeth digging into their soft flesh.

There's no escaping it, she does love Aleksander Morozova and no one would understand it. She doesn't understand it, but her heart recognizes his as its other half and her soul yearns for his.

It's been seven days since she last saw him, felt him.

His smile reminded her of sunshine on a cloudy day. It confused her greatly that he'd receive power of the dark when he had always been the epitome of light in her life.

The memory of his face as they said goodbye makes her body hurt. She's restless dreaming, always seeing him reach for her.

In her dreams, he's pleading for her to stay.

"Don't leave me. We can go back to hating each other if you'd like, just stay. Don't go."

She needed to go, but every passing day feels like she's choking on her decision to leave him behind. Truth be told, she got scared of her attachment to him. Even when they fought in the camp and she stayed away, she'd look for him with her gaze. She'd listen for the sound of his voice, brush against him as she walked by. She couldn't stay away, not really.