Dumb decisions (cuts/extra's)

The part 7's

Okay, so I wrote one part 7, then I thought I deleted it so I wrote another one, and then the other one came back and now I don't know which one I like best so... here they are. Read them, have fun or something. 

Part 7 (1)

~Rob's perspective~

I stare at the ceiling in the guest bedroom, the images of the evening flooding my head, making it impossible to sleep.

We first ate our dinner. I don't know how he did it, but he had made one of the best pasta's I have ever tasted, even though he had the shittiest ingredients. Either he was the greatest cook alive, or my feelings made me taste everything better. And then we watched Netflix. I barely remember what movies and series we started watching, because I was busy trying to figure out what to do. We just sat there, next to each other. Would nobody make a move? I just sat there, wanting to curl up to him. He just sat there, while I was waiting for him to put his arm around me. Had I interpreted his signs wrong? Was the look in his eyes not what I thought it was? Did he only want to be friends? He brought me some more tea, gave me a blanket even, but mostly we just sat there. Watching. Waiting.

I started to feel tired. I thought it would be the perfect excuse to just... fall asleep on his shoulder? I tried to slowly sink lower and lower, kind of leaning my head towards him. I started yawning.

He noticed. He noticed but didn't say what I expected him to say. He looked at his watch and spoke the words that ended my plan, my dream, my hopeful wish:

"Oh it's getting late, should we go to bed?"

Fuck.

"No, no, we can just... go on." He smiled. That damn smile.

"No, you're almost sleeping already. Come on let's get you upstairs. I'll lend you some of my comfortable clothing to sleep in."

And just like that I was taken upstairs. Just like that I felt my hopes sink. Just like that I realized he didn't like me romantically. Just like that we stayed friends, nothing more. I turn my head towards the hood of his hoodie, his scent filling my nose. He was just next room, but I've never felt this far away from him. I'll just keep dreaming for a little longer, just a little longer...

A soft knock on the door. A soft whisper of my name. A soft question that could change everything.

"Rob, are you awake?"

"Yeah.."

"May I come in?"

"Yeah sure.."

He comes in. The moon shines through the thin curtains and light up his face. But it's stained, some wet spots reflect the moonlight into my shocked eyes.

"Hey- hey! What's wrong?"

I get out of bed and pull him into a hug. A hug is still fine right, as friends?

"Come, sit down. Tell me what's wrong."

"I just feel like I fucked up. Big time. I never wished for anything more than the life that I had-"

Oh, so he doesn't want me. Glad we figured that out.

"I was happy with Jolein. I love my children. I love my job..."

He didn't say he loves Jolein, but he does love his job- is that me?

"And now I just lost an integral part of my life. I don't think I've ever felt so alone. And now I'm dragging you into it as well-" he stops talking.