Caught With the Wolves

30 - A Second Chance

"What about you boss?" Mateo asks.

"I'm going to stay here tonight."

Luna takes in another shaky breath. Fucking hell. I don't even want to think about how hard it is for her to not break into tears right now. So I give Aiden another nod and he guides Luna out the door, Mateo following closely behind them.

I sit myself on the couch beside her bed and ignore the memory of pain in my back. My eyes wash over Hope and Jonas one last time before I lose track of my vision and feel the world blur around me.

Harsh light shines through the room and I open my eyes, struggling to cope with the morning sun. Jonas still sleeps beside his mother but surprisingly and chillingly, his eyes are wide open. He's awake and yet, he hasn't stirred from last night's position one bit. I walk over to him and extend my arms out. He stands up and leans in without hesitation. I pick him up into my grip and let his head rest over my shoulder. I feel a lump form in my own throat when my shirt feels damp underneath my son's face.

"Mommy no wake up Daddy."

And before I can say anything back to him, Dr. Hudson knocks on the door. There's a couple other nurses behind her, holding materials I don't even want to imagine the usage of.

"We're ready," she says, softly and patiently, eyeing Jonas in my arms.

I take my son and walk out the room, heart more heavy than his weight in my arms.

His tears don't stop falling the entire ride home. I feel like gutting myself with a knife for the lack of words in my mind to comfort him. Hope would surely know what to do. This feels like my first test of parenting without her and I'm already failing at it. I take a slight glance at him while stopping the car at a red light. He's so tiny that with every tear that falls off his face, I feel like it sucks the life out of him. I clench the steering wheel a little tighter, not knowing what else to do to control the burning rage and overflowing grief inside of me.

By the time we get home, he looks so tired and lost that I put him down on my bed before walking to the shower myself. Cold water tingles every inch of my skin as I struggle to steady my breath. The shuddering only intensifies as the 'if' from the hospital comes back to haunt me.

I finish my shower and dress myself to go back to the hospital. Being there when she wakes up seems like the only thing I can do for now.

Luna

The longer I stare at myself in the mirror, the harsher my dark circles appear to be. I barely slept a wink last night, regretting my decision to send Aiden back to his apartment. I grab my purse off the table and head out the door, locking it shut behind me.

The mansion seems appropriately silent as I walk up to the living room. Aiden and Mateo sit across each other, each lost in thoughts of their own. But the sound of my shoes is loud enough to make them swing their heads at me.

"Where are they?" I ask.

"Jonas is sleeping and boss has already left this morning." Mateo replies.

It seems strange being here right now and not at the hospital. My nerves cackle along with my anxiety. But Jonas needs to be watched after. The poor little boy doesn't even know much his life could change in the next couple hours. Aiden glances at me and his eyes promote nothing but understanding.

"I'll watch him," he says, breaking our silence. "You guys should go back to the hospital. Make sure Jace doesn't punch his way through a wall."

I want to give him a smile but my lips refuse to respond.