Our Little Secret - Harry Lewis, Wroetoshaw

Chapter 8

"So. Just friends?" she said

"I mean. Yeah like, I don't want to assume anything?" Harry stuttered 

"But you're happy enough to fuck me for 3 days and let me stay in your flat?" Olivia hissed

"It's not like that" Harry deflected

"So what's it like? Because you're taking pictures with me, showing me off to your friends, asking me to Christmas dinner with your fucking family. But we're just mates from school catching up?" Olivia said, her voice now getting louder

"That was stupid of me, I was on the spot" Harry mumbled

"We can't keep doing this Harry. I can't live my life waiting for you not to be afraid of saying the word girlfriend or even telling people who I am, or what this is" she cried

"So that's what you want? To be my girlfriend?" Harry asked 

"Maybe a long time ago yeah. I've wanted to be for so many years. But right now I don't know, I don't think you've changed much in three years. Maybe if you actually had the balls to ask me all those years ago we wouldn't have this issue, for fuck sake Harry even your parents tried to get you to do it"

Harry was taken aback by these words "Well why didn't you fucking ask me then. You never said anything about wanting a relationship, you never made it clear. I'm not the only one to blame"

"What do you want from this? Is it just a see each other every Christmas break, have sex and live in a little bubble where we pretend that all this stupid shit never happens or do you want to be my boyfriend, and work at this. Where maybe one day we don't need to just stay together at Christmas. But for that to happen you need to be open about me, you can't hide me away like you always do. You can't tell your friends that we're just mates because mates don't think about each other the way I think about you" Olivia sobbed

Harry put his head in his hands "I don't know Liv"

"What do you mean you don't know! You can't act the way you do with me and then say you don't know" Olivia cried

"I just think it would be too hard you know. You're in Manchester, I'm in London. You'd be around all these smart people that have opinions on things and I'd be around a bunch of guys who laugh at the word penis. We're living in two different worlds right now, it's not as easy as it once was. That's why coming home and just being here, it's like a break from it all. We can just be us" Harry sniffed

"No Harry. You don't get to do that, I can't be your backup plan or your break from living life in the fast lane, your little island girlfriend. Harry I- I. Know what, forget it, I'm over this. Merry Christmas" Olivia said wiping her eyes and grabbing her laptop before stomping down the hall and shoving on her shoes

"Liv. Fuck sake Liv wait!" Harry called after her, trying to slip on his sliders, but the door slammed shut.

Harry walked into his bedroom and grabbed his phone, dialling Olivias number and trying to reach her but was met with a tone at the end. She had blocked his number in the short time it had taken her to get downstairs. Harry yelled loudly and swore.

"Fuck!" he screamed picking up the nearest object to him and launching it at the wall. His heart sank a little bit when the broken glass from the picture of him and Oliva clinked to the ground. Harry closed his eyes and let some silent tears spill down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes and hit his fist off the ground.

Olivia entered her car and wiped her eyes furiously. Finishing the job and blocking Harry on everything. She wiped her eyes and sobbed into the steering wheel. Gripping the sides and yelling loudly. She looked up to the floor where Harry's flat was and let a few more tears slip before pulling the car away and driving to her house in silence. Olivia opened the door to her parents who were taken aback by her appearance and tried to stop her before she ran upstairs

"I don't want to talk" she mumbled, pushing past her mum and heading to her bedroom. She crawled under her covers and produced her laptop. Deleting the photos she and Harry had taken the day before on it and clicked on Netflix to distract herself. She was 1 and a half episodes into New Girl when she heard the door go. She did not move but closed her eyes when she heard a familiar voice downstairs.

"Hi, this is going to sound really weird but I'm Harry, is Olivia in?" Harry's voice echoed 

Jean stood at the door confused at that boy before her and his appearance, he had so obviously been crying "Um yeah, she's upstairs if you want to go up? First door on the landing"

Harry ran up the stairs and opened Olivia's door, finding her hiding under her covers and watching a sitcom on her laptop.

"Get out Harry. I don't want you here" she groaned

"Please Liv, I'm sorry" he begged 

"No. Get out. Seriously, get out. I don't want you here. You're making this a lot harder than it has to be" she sniffed 

"Okay. Fine. But I wanted to give you your Christmas present. It's something I should've given you a while ago and it's not going to make up for anything but I want you to have it, I'll leave you be. Talk to me when you get the chance to open it" He sighed, leaving a small parcel on the bed and walking out. Olivia closed her eyes until she heard the door shut and the car pull away outside, not wanting any more interactions with him.

She sat up and placed the parcel on her dresser, not wanting to look at it. Jean opened her door and peeked her head in.

"Hi, darling. Is everything okay?" she cooed 

"Yeah mum it's fine" Olivia mumbled from beneath the covers

"Is that the boy who you've been staying with?" Jean asked, raising an eyebrow to her daughter

Olivia went to speak but instead just nodded her head

"He seems nice. What happened?" her mother asked, smoothing her daughter's hair down

"Its tricky mum. He's in London, I'm in Manchester. We're just different people now. I wish Jess didn't make me talk to him at that stupid New Years party" Olivia said 

Jean sighed and put an arm around her daughter "Liv. You're a writer, you can write anywhere and you don't think you could edit down in London? I think you're just a bit scared"

"He's the one that's scared, he can't even tell his friends I'm anything more than a 'friend from school'" she shouted 

"And did you tell your friends about him?" Jean asked 

"No, but like -" Olivia started 

"And did you tell us about him? How long have you had this thing going on?" Jean interjected, giving her daughter a stern look

"Like 4 years on and off? I don't know mum" Olivia shrugged 

"So 4 years and this is the first time I've ever met the boy. I don't even remember him from your school, he wasn't at your 18th or anything" Jean rambled

"He was in London with his new friends" Olivia scoffed

"Liv. People grow up and get new friends, it's how the world works, and judging by the boy's car he's clearly doing something right in what he's doing. You can't keep blaming this all on him when it's obvious there's just been a clear lack of communication from the start" Jean said

Olivia groaned, she hated when her mum talked sense into her and didn't take her side. "You're right, but I'm still angry. I can't keep doing this to myself"

"Then don't. It's in your power" her mum said giving her a quick kiss on the forehead and left the room.

Olivia toyed with her phone before unblocking Harry's number and returning her attention to Netflix.