Hook-up and Regrets

part 1

The pounding in my head, the coldness of the room, my bruised back, and the feeling of guilt in my stomach only makes me want to sleep longer. I curl up and gather the warmth I can around me with my eyelid squeezed shut. I shake my head.

But the unfamiliar scent, the shaking atmosphere, and the new mattress under me make me want to get up and leave immediately and forget everything last night. I feel cold, weak, and naive. But I am not a child, not the person to back away from reality as much as I want to. And as much willpower it takes for me to open my eyes, I do. Sunlight peeks in from the closed shades, even with the room dark, it manages to come in. I feel the rustle of someone next to me, heavy breathing, and a low, quiet sigh.

Train...I think, feeling around me I close my fist on the handful of blankets covering my now known naked body. Crap. I sit up fast and blink my eyes a couple of times adjusting them to the sunlight, my heartbeat is fast because I know what is coming, my heartbeat is fast because I know who is next to me. My heartbeat is fast because I remember what happened last night.

(start of flashback)

12 hours ago

My palms are sweaty, and my breathing heavy. I'm exhausted. We've been practicing for some hours now, I almost feel like a teacher, teaching my pupils basic fighting. Being a teacher was always on my list for jobs, I've dreamed of it since I was a child. The feeling of knowing people are looking up at you and, knowing that people rely on you too. As much as stress the idea of that would put on someone, it gives me peace of mind to know I still have worth to someone.

But my plans were ruined, I was recruited. Not by choice, but by force. I hated her for that, I hated that she ruined my plans. But I'm here now, working far from home, working and trying a long-distance relationship that isn't going too well.

Crap, I forgot to call him this morning, I can't even remember if I called him last night. I don't have any excuses for why I didn't call my boyfriend, yesterday was just a slow day with a free afternoon after that. I guess I didn't miss his voice or his company... That doesn't sound like a very good girlfriend.

I look over at my "pupils" and stare at their exhaustion, and I try not to show mine.

"Okay!" I put on a big cheeky smile for them even though they aren't kids. "I think that's fine for today... It Friday after all." I look around at the unsmiling faces, the beat of sweat from their foreheads. "Wash up, and... call your loved ones or something. See you tomorrow same time... as always."

I hesitate. I sounded like a teacher, the people around me are older than me too. I guess I can't call them my pupils.

"Hey y/n!" says a tall man walking over to me, from his big green eyes I can tell he's an earth bender. Those muscles can't possibly just be for show, he's gotta use them. And I guess I am his teacher.

"Bolin, I-" I wipe my head with my bare forearm. "What's up!' I say trying to match his happy tone but it's difficult.

"I was wondering... if you wanted to stop by my quarters tonight and ya know," he looks at his feet shyly. "Eat... Oh, of course, Varrick is gonna be there, a little party. I know your dating someone, I'm not asking you out, you know that right?"

I paused before answering him. It's not that I'm not flattered that he wants to hang out with me it's just, I don't want to hang out with him. "I, I'm a little tired already Bo, and I have some paperwork stuff to do." I feel bad saying no, but sometimes you have to care for yourself.

"Oh! All cool." He smiles, unaffected by my decline. "All cool... well see you tomorrow. y/n!" He leaves quickly, not making eye contact with me.

I stare into space for a couple of seconds and eventually bring myself to kicking some equipment around until it looks kind of neat. And leave, quickly.

(end of flashback)

I scan the room before making eye contact with the figure next to me. Looking for a quick escape, looking for my clothes. My bra on the other side of the room, my underwear next to me. My mind panics, but I'm quiet.

"Good morning." She mumbles. Her voice is scratchy and deep in the mornings. I turn to look at her but her bare back is faced towards me. She is sitting upright on her own bed but looks uncomfortable probably due to my company. Her muscle lines on her back make her look so much more intimidating, of course, no one sees it but me right now. Her hair is down but still looks clean and slightly wavy from the braid-bun thing she always wears.

No, she's my boss and this right now is abnormal. "Good morning, great untier." I get nervous, I need to get out of here now.

"You don't need to call me that." She says quietly, loud enough for me to hear, but quiet so no one around us hears. Of course, she doesn't want anyone to know. If the word comes around that we... you know, I'll be in trouble, she'll be in trouble. And it won't be fun. "Don't you think we have some sort of special bond?" She chucks slightly, amusing herself. "Don't be shy to call me Kuvira, I'm a person too." She turns her head to look at me, I am almost gawking. My mouth is open to say something but nothing comes out. I only pull the blanket around me higher to my chest.

I think it sort of hits Kuvira when she sees me, she realizes what happened, and why. Her brows furrow, and a sort of mad-guilty washes over her face. She turns her head away from me and quickly grabs the white tank top next to her. "I apologize, that was very unprofessional of me, or should I say us?"