Darker Love ❤️🖤// Fate:TheWinxSaga (sky love story)

Stay away from her

The whirlwind of thoughts, slows down when I reach Farah's office, Aisha is in lesson so no one's in the assistant seat. I go to knock frantically on the door to her main area. Nothing. I start knocking louder and more frequently. Finally she opens the door about to scold whoever was knocking so disrespectfully.

Her face flashes from annoyed to worried, "Ana, are you alright, the girls said you were ill, a little overwhelmed," she states, I take a deep breath and shakily let it escape but I let out sobs my hand reaches to my stomach, I'm so angry and sad and alone and scared all at the same time.

"Why!" I scream at her, finally finding my voice, "Why didn't you tell me?!" I cry out and she grabs my arm and pulls me into her office, 

"What? What happened? Anastasia?" she asks, but I look to the ground, my lips trembling, tears building up in my eyelids. 

"Professor Silva could of died because of me, these students died because of me, who else did I kill?" I ask desperately, my face crumpled up, I stare straight past her, refusing to let the tears roll down my face. 

"What-" she starts before she realizes what I know, "You went to the east wing, even though we banned it without teacher supervision!" she argues.

I let out an amused laugh, "That's what you're worrying about," I inevitably meet her eyes. 

"You could of been attacked!" she continues with a façade, I grab my head between my hands, holding so tight I'm scared I might squash it completely, my head is pounding.

My hands are trembling as I move them to my lips momentarily, "I know that was a ruse to stop me from snooping, just like Silva sent out Sky to stop me," I say, I don't care what she'll say at me addressing Silva improperly, she lied, crossed the line by miles, hundreds, thousands of miles. 

"Why- why was my mother stupid enough to have a child, why did you let me live?" I accuse her, I look to my hands, I look and sound insane, I've peaked, I can't take anymore, "You should have let me die as a baby," I spit at her.

She shakes her head, "No, you aren't thinking straight, you weren't meant to find out this way, you didn't deserve to die you were just a baby, you shouldn't pay for your grandmother's mistakes, it was your mother's dying wish, you were innocent like her,  you still are" She explains, her voice weak 

"I don't give a damn about my mother's dying wish, you should have killed her when you had the chance," she gasps zt my words, "instead you let her lie to everyone she loved, YOU made her live with this burden, made her write those stupid diaries " I continue, I know I'm not thinking rationally, 

"Anastasia don't you dare talk about your mother like that!" she loses her calm demeanor, she's angry, sick and tired of me, I don't blame her, "She was happy, she wanted to live, she wanted children, many, she knew she wasn't her mother and she wanted a brighter future," I laugh at the irony of a 'brighter' future since my grandmother wanted darkness.

"Well I don't want to live, I want to die! And I want other people to stop dying, I don't want to lie to my friends, I don't want children to pass the burden onto, I might as well step into my grave now, better sooner than later," I press, nodding my head.

"You don't mean that," she starts, "your mother was just like you, so I told her to write those journals, and she got better, understood that her life was important, she had people who needed her," she finishes, no one needs me, I only cause chaos and I know it, if people don't get hurt around me physically they get hurt emotionally.  

She's not going to let this go, I take a few breaths and calm down, she thinks I'm coming to my senses, instead I know she won't let me out if I don't act as if I want to live and have 'come to my senses' so I respectively calm down and she explains how the diaries helped her, and how her and I were going to work through my history and my mum's life together slowly, so I can understand it better,  and maybe she has some sense in that, maybe it could get better, I grabbed at the roots of my hair holding so tight that I could have ripped it all out, but with my clam breaths I realse my steal hold.