ALEX | a. hotchner (sequel to BLAKE)

26

Sitting at the table across from him made me doubt our decision to send me in alone. Or at all. It wouldn't be hard to get him to confess, he was too proud of what he'd done to not take credit.

He was skinnier than the last time I saw him five years ago. His face sunken in and tired. Prison could be a thing that protects society from those who would do harm. Yet, it was cold hearted and indifferent, it was keeping in place via fear systems that starve and abuse people. I had experienced it first hand.

I had thought my jail cell was real for so long that I never even checked to see if the walls were solid. I heard screams from other cells and they paralysed me from even pushing on the door. It was almost easy to forget where I had been when Aaron came to give me a second chance.

"You've figured it out then?" He asked with a smile.

I nodded, "that's what you wanted me to, isn't it?"

"Should I explain it to you, then?"

I opened my palm towards him as an invitation to start talking.

"The first year here was the hardest, trying to adjust and get over the fact that my own daughter put me here again."

"You did it to yourself," I interrupted him.

He rolled his eyes, "but then I put myself together again and decided it was time for us to have some closure. Convincing Jerry Henderson was easy," he smirked, "and after speaking to Timothy, getting him into the building was even easier."

I froze. I hadn't thought about Timothy after getting him fired from Interpol. His trial was still ongoing but I always assumed he was in custody and being watched closely. However, Timothy had contacts, being high up the chain at an international organization would give that to you.

I've always known law enforcement and government were corrupt, more loyal to each other and money than the people they swore to protect. They're corrupted before the ballots are cast. They're too bamboozled with lobbyists and dazzled by greed to see daylight. The world would burn before they made any difference at all. It was why I did what I did to end up in jail in the first place. I guess I'd lost that about myself.

I couldn't show him my surprise, though, he'd only tell me everything if he thought I already knew. Holding information would make him smug and play games.

"Timothy and Jerry wanted revenge, I wanted to show you the reality of this world," my father said. "Noah Henderson came in pretty handy when that agent of yours got in my way."

My breath hitched in my throat, I always wondered what connection Henderson had to Aaron, and what motivated him to take Jack. I guess I had my answer.

"You paid him to kidnap Jack," I scoffed, shaking my head slowly.

He nodded, so proud of himself he was almost laughing.

"Obviously, the plan was to shoot Agent Hotchner, but when you showed up Jerry had to do some.. improvising."

My fists tightened under the table, and I leaned back in my chair to seem more relaxed.

"He could have killed me," I said through my teeth.

He shook his head and smiled, "Jerry wouldn't be able to kill you if he tried."

"But you would?"

He shrugged, "we'll just have to wait and see."

"And my team?"

"Ah," he put his intertwined hands on the table and leaned forward. "I honestly thought it would be easier for that deputy to kill your tech analyst, but I guess it's just hard to find good help these days. Agent Morgan was a bit trickier; convincing a youth pastor to start killing again and leading the police in a different direction without causing suspicion. It hasn't exactly gone according to plan, but I'm optimistic," he smiled.

"You've tried to get rid of them."

"This time I'll succeed."

I scoffed.

"Everything just keeps coming back to you, doesn't it?" I spat, "well, I'm tired of it."

"That's just too damn bad, isn't it, sweetheart?" He smiled. "I'm trying to show you that no matter how strong you are-"

"Yes, I am strong," I interrupted. "I was strong before your abuse and I will be strong long after. I will not let you define me, because I am not just a product of what you put me through."

"We are the results of generations haunted by anger, Alex," he said, "and you're no different, it's in your blood and it will consume you."

"No, I'm not like you," I shook my head. "Every day you looked at the kid in front of you and killed her a little bit more. If all I am is hatred, if all I am is rage, then you won't beat me, I'm not giving you the goddamn satisfaction."

I glared at him, "where is he? Where's Spencer?"

He shrugged, like he couldn't give less of a fuck. "I told Timothy to have his own fun with that one, I trust he'll get the wanted results. And I knew you'd come here eventually, I wanted to leave this one for you to figure out on your own."

I swallowed thickly, I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't show myself weak in front of him.

***

We had gone back to the police station and I was talking to Aaron on the phone after briefing the team on what my father had said. Emily was off trying to trace Timothy, she'd had murder on her mind ever since she found out that he was involved.

"We're coming to Boston," Aaron said, "Spencer has to be there, the location means everything."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I sighed, "he'll probably try to take everyone out at the same time, it's dangerous for us all to be in one place right now."

"It'll be easier to think of something when we're not four hundred miles away from each other," he paused. "You're distant, Alex, are you okay?"

I shook my head, even if he couldn't see me.

"I'll bring you a glowstick, okay?" He said gently, and I knew he was worried that I was breaking.

"Yeah," I whispered, "yeah, I'd like that, thank you."

"I'll see you in a few hours."

And even though I knew it was a bad idea, I wanted him with me. Barely one day apart and I already didn't feel like myself. Actually, I hadn't felt like myself in months. Giving my all to the FBI when I had no faith in the systems I was upholding. Filling my closet with clothes I'd never choose for myself, and becoming more and more serious everyday.

My phone rang again and I sighed. Couldn't they leave me alone for five minutes?

"Hello?"

"Alex?" The voice whispered.

I took in a shaky breath, too slow to be normal, my whole body tense.

"Spencer?" I trailed slowly, scared that if I talked too loudly he'd disappear.

"Alex, you have to listen to me carefully," he was rushed, "and you can't tell anyone that I called you."

"Where are you? Are you okay? What's happening?" I bit my lip to stop myself from whimpering, tears threatening to run down my cheeks at any moment.

"I can't answer any questions right now, but I need your help."

I composed myself long enough to answer.

"I think I have a plan," I breathed.

And I was so happy Emily was the one who came with me, because she was the only one who would understand.