Subian Gray

Demiromantic asexual.
Agender and literally Any pronouns are cool, but I prefer she/them if your going to use a pronoun. Please call me Subian or Bee if you need to use my name. I am super depresso, so I'm slow and random. 

Why Am I This Way
By Subian G.

What's the point in getting up?
In fixing my hair
And doing my makeup.
What's the point of getting dressed.
The moment you're here
It's back to depressed.
Nothing I do is ever right.
Too many shadows
That swallow the light.

Who am I, mother?
How can I know?
There are too many variables
My HP is too low.

There's only one chance
To save me today.
Only one chance 
To make it okay.
All my fears pile up
And they won't go away.
What should I say 
To convince you to stay.

I tried to tell you
But you wouldn't listen.
These tears on my face
Constantly sparkle and glisten.
My eyes don't reflect
All the 'love' you shoved in.
I wanted acceptance
Not proof of my incompetence.

Why are my feelings 
A complicated contradiction?
I can't decide.
How do I describe it?
I don't exist
In your perfect sphere.
One moment I'm her
The next it's unclear.

These pretty things
They make me happy.
But only for a little bit
Then anxiety stands 
Dramatically slow clapping.
The colors all fade
And it's back to gray.
I've just one thing to ask.
Why am I this way?