"Why?" "Because I don't trust you" and as I uttered those words my heart finally gave up as I gave in to the tears. He turned and walked away. I knew he wouldn't turn back and I knew I would push him away even if he did. But why, why was I so good at pushing away the best? The sadness runs down my cheeks and hits my shoes and the anger inside of me is now wild and effortlessly strong. I turn and hit the wall behind me and as I stare at my bruised hand through the tears, I find it reassuring that no matter how hard I try I could never hurt myself as much as I want to. I pick up my bag and turn because leaving is easier than staying, hurting is safer than trusting and love is a game of pain.
4 parts