Disperse [Editing]

Chapter 9

"How much did you see when I was with Mike?" I asked after a long silence.

Adrian had changed the appearance of his plane to resemble a sunrise. The sky burst with color and a glowing orb slowly rose. He replaced the cool ground with grass and wild flowers. It was hauntingly beautiful, but none of it was real.

"Enough," he replied, not looking away from the sky.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, not entirely sure what I was apologizing for.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. Just forget it ever happened."

There was a lull, and I forced myself to ask, "Can we dream?"

Adrian turned to me. "Why?"

"I had something like a dream the other day. It's why I left."

He frowned. "We can sleep in a sense, but not the type of rest we get in the real world. We simply let ourselves slip into our subconscious, and sometimes there can be images, but rarely ever dreams." He paused. "But typically, we don't drift off unless we're distressed."

"That would make sense..." I murmured.

His eyes met mine, sadness in their midst. "What did you dream of?"

"It was a dream within a dream. A man was in my room and I was petrified, but he disappeared. It was me, but it didn't feel like me. It was like I was trapped in someone else. Has that ever happened to you?"

He didn't answer the question. "Has this happened before?"

I thought about it. "I've had...glimpses of images before. But I wouldn't call them dreams."

He was silent for a while before murmuring, "I never got to ask my last question."

"Ask away."

"Are you unhappy with how things have turned out? Do you have nothing to look forward to?" He said lowly.

"That's more than one question."

"Answer it, please."

He looked up from his feet to my face and the look in his eyes knocked all the air out of my chest. "I'm not like I was before... I don't think I'll ever be content like I used to be by how much this has changed me, but I'm not depressed. A lot of this sucks, but there are things I can be grateful for. There are decent people here, like you and Leo, and I found out that I have some sort of higher purpose that involves you, so that's a plus. It's something to keep me occupied."

"I thought you didn't think very highly of me and this world." His vulnerability shocked me.

I shook my head. "I don't think poorly of you, Adrian. I think that you have had things happen to you that prevent you from being as carefree as someone like me. You're difficult and can drive me insane, but I think I have the same effect on you."

He looked down, looking like a guilty child. "You don't mind having to fix something that never involved you?"

"Well, obviously I am involved with it somehow. I'm open to trying to fix this.  What do I have to lose?"

His response was so hushed I would've missed it if it hadn't been for his harsh tone. "Your soul," he rasped.

The color drained from my face. "What do you mean?"

His words were cold. "Leila would've done anything to help me, but she still dissolved away. She's not alive or dead. She ceased to exist. You're willing to risk that?"

"Do I have a choice? I'll fade either way."

"I don't think I can lose someone again," he whispered, and I forced myself to reach out and grasp his hand. I had no idea what had inspired this confession or his vulnerability, but I began to see him a different light. He didn't fight with me to be difficult, he did because he didn't know any better, and might've even been doing to push me away. He cared about me, enough to fear my demise.

The scariest part of it all was that somewhere in me, I cared about the tormented male too.

"You won't lose me, Adrian. I won't let it happen." I promised, but what I didn't realize at the time was that not all promises can be kept.