Prologue

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They broke up on Christmas Eve.

What had started out as confusion as to what time Ryan's mother would be coming over the next day, turned into Ryan ranting about how Brendon never ever listened to him.

Ryan had been going for a good ten minutes, making point after point arguing his case, listing every little thing Brendon had forgotten in the last five years. "And then there was our anniversary, I told you to meet me at six, but what did you do? You went home after work and waited there for me inst-"

"I cheated on you!" Brendon cried, watching Ryan's face fall at the confession. "And I know you're going to ask why," he continued, before Ryan could speak. "well I'll tell you why: this -" he gestured around them, at Ryan, at himself. "- this is why I did it. I'd had enough of you treating me like shit on your shoe the second I walked in the house, so I thought fuck it, why should I care about his feelings when he doesn't care about mine? And you know what, Ryan?"

Ryan, white as a sheet, shook his head ever so slightly. "What?" He whispered, running a shaky hand through his hair.

"In the five months we've been sleeping together, I've felt more alive than I ever have with you!"

This seemed to hit Ryan where it hurt, and he snapped out of whatever stupor he was falling into. "Well if you love fucking him so much, then why are you still with me?!"

"I don't know, I guess because I thought I still loved you!"

Ryan scoffed. "Was that before or after you slept with another man?"

"Look, Ryan, I'm not proud of it okay?" Ryan rolled his eyes and Brendon made a noise of exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm not proud of what I've done, but if it means I can get out of this goddamn apartment then I'm going to jump at the chance."

"Don't let me stop you, Brendon - by all means, walk out of here right now if you'd like. Clearly there's nothing worth staying for."

"You know what? You're right. I'm out of here. Don't worry, it won't take me long to pack my things."

Brendon turned and stormed up the stairs, and Ryan, always wanting the last word, shouted up after him. "Don't come crying when he decides that, since he's not your dirty little secret anymore, he doesn't want you. 'Cause I won't be taking you back."

Brendon barked a sharp laugh, shaking his head as he stuffed as much of his belongings as he could into a couple of bags. "Hell will freeze over, first." He zipped up the bags, scanning the room, before lifting one strap onto his shoulder and carrying the other. He made his way downstairs, seeing Ryan stood at the foot of the stairs with his arms folded, and he sighed. What had their relationship come to?

"What a waste of five fucking years, huh?" Said Brendon, shaking his head.

"It was a waste, was it? Everything I did for you, you think it was for nothing?" Ryan clenched his jaw, trying very hard not to cry. He'd shed too many tears in this relationship, and he wasn't going to shed any more. "I gave up everything for you, and this is how you repay me?"

"You're saying that like you don't deserve it."

"Do I?"

Brendon shook his head again, adjusting the strap on his shoulder. "I'm not answering that. Goodbye, Ryan." He headed for the door, and before Ryan could say anything else, Brendon had left. Gone.

For good.

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