Kashmiri lullaby

C H A P T E R 3

I waded my way down the hill, deep in thought. Shreya had already left, and I had stayed back, to think and to put a little time between us.

As I climbed down and found the road, I could only think one thing. It would be great, amazing, if I could spend my life with her. And I would keep her happy, I knew.

I had been creeping, scratch that, looking at her for a long time. Sometimes from the other end of the long queue in the vegetable market, sometimes from a good distance from the mandir near lord Krishna's idol, and ofcourse, all the time in our niche.

I smiled at that.

Our niche.

Something happy bubbled inside sof me. This must be the happiest day of my existence.

I looked at the sky as I neared the city. It was nearing ner dusk. It will be azaan time soon. I hurried my way to the mosque.

I had to ensure my happy prayer reached Allah. It must be made known, he cannot send me any bad luck right now.

When I did reach the mosque, I looked at it. And that's when it hit me. Why had I been hiding from her all along? Why had I never approached her like this before?

Dread and horror filled me. I had done something dangerous. Very dangerous. For me. For her. And for my family.

She was a hindu. And I was a muslim.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. The perk of being an army man is that it becomes easier to control your body.

I quietly made my way inside the mosque, but my prayer wasn't as happy as I had imagined it to be.

Allah wouldn't send me any bad luck, I knew. Because my love had been my bad luck all along.

-×-×

Two days later.
Present

I am at the army station. We all had been notified by the border control of an attempted infiltration. They had shot down two men, the total number of people in the group is unknown.

We had been anxious, trying to find if they had entered the town.

The situation was on high alert.

I was crouched over a map of our area, and the possible exit routes, and roadways that could be beneficial for the terrorists. We had to immediately barricade all the roads. Put the public places under higher scrutiny.

But this wasn't easy. Especially with the public being so distrustful of the army. What made my situation worst, is that my brother is admitted in the hospital. He had one of his attacks early morning yesterday. And my mother refused to be anywhere but here.

And I am feeling guilty. It must be all that stress day before yesterday that must have caused this.

I breathed out a sigh.

Everything would have been so much easier, if only my father was here. He was a wonderful man. A man I wanted to be.

I stared straight ahead at the flanks of the camp tent.

'you have somewhere to be' my brain told me. And I remembered, jovially and guiltily, that I indeed had somewhere to be.

There is an excess of guilt for me these days.

It wasn't long before I found myself trudging up the hill. In my uniform.

I had bought a packet of colored candies from Mansoor chacha's general store, which offered all the necessities for living.