Love sucks.
All my life, I've watched other countries fall in love. France and England, Sweden and Finland, Germany and Italy, Greece and Japan. All of them were lucky enough to find someone to love and be loved by. Lucky bastards.
Me? I've only known familial and platonic love, not the kind that I've always wanted. France and America are pretty good at remembering I exist long enough to do family type things with me. England constantly needs to be reminded that I'm not America, but other than that, he's like a father to me just as much as France is.
Everyone else either doesn't see me, or mistakes me for America when they do, so I'd never really had a chance to fall in love.
Until HE came along.
After the long years of neglect and abuse from people who hated America, Prussia was a ray of sunlight peeking through my dark clouds of loneliness. I gave him maple syrup and he gave me so much more. He saw me, really saw me and never forgot about me. As we got to know each other over the years, we talked about everything and I learned that he was just as lonely as me, but he hid it behind loud laughter and narcissism. In turn, he listened to me and would comfort me and try to help me stand up for myself.
Is it really any wonder I fell in love with him? There are times when I wonder as we sit on rooftops looking up at the stars, if he feels the same. And then he says something about Hungary and it feels like my heart is being crushed into dust.
It makes sense that he would love her. After all, they have known each other since they were young nations. I, on the other hand, have only been friends with him for about a hundred years which is a short time for us countries. She's also really pretty and strong minded, which is what Prussia likes. I have unnatural purple eyes that I suspect remind him of Russia, who he hates, and I can barely speak over a whisper. How do I compete with someone like Hungary?
So I haven't told him yet how I feel. I give him advice for how to be romantic around her, because if I don't like seeing him unhappy and if dating Hungary will make him happy, then it will make me happy. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to scream at him, tell him that Hungary will just fight with him a lot and eventually leave him for Austria.
It doesn't stop me from wanting to say, "I'm right here, Prussia. I love you and I wouldn't hurt you." Prussia is my blessing and my curse. He can see me unlike almost everyone else, but not the way I want him to.
It doesn't stop me from crying when I go home.
When Kumajiro looks up at me and for the millionth time asks, "Who are you?" I answer back with a choked back sob.
"I'm Canada, an utter fool."
