Just One More Story (Like Always)...
Well, I hope you like this entrance. Its kind of freaky, but I just felt like it.
Chapter 1
So there I was, wishing it all faded away. This is the actual problem: MY LIFE. My entire life sucks. But this moment is worse than any other I have experimented in the 16 years of my existence. And what its worse, I just hate myself. Why? Because I promised that this won’t happen again. I promised that this really really wouldn’t happen again. But we all have to face these moments. I was totally drunk, dumbass of me, smoking and laughing so loud I just couldn’t hear any other sound. You know when you feel fizzy because you’ve smoked and drank so much you feel that kind of sensation. The ‘odd’ sickness we all feel inside when this happens. It is just particularly familiar. And I pray to God I wasn’t naked in that moment, I just couldn’t tell. Let’s start this story…
It was like around 5 a.m, I arrived home, it smells drunken and smoked around me. I was kind of falling down while I climbed the stairs trying to balance my half-naked body. I rang vaguely the bell, because I knew my face would be slapped in the next 20 seconds exactly, by my mom. She opened the door extremely quick and threw her nervous hand at my naked face. I admitted this was my fault by just looking her at the eyes, turned in tears. She was now yelling and screaming at me. But I could barely hear anything. I just wanted this to last the least possible.
“Why are you THIS late J? You know I was calling you, why didn’t you check the fucking phone? J? J? Answer me! I’m talking to you. LOOK at me, NOW!! I’ve just had enough of you, the way you are, the way you do things, and you… J, have you been smoking? You STINK. Go away from this house, I just don’t wanna know anything about you.” She told me, obviously annoyed to see my face. “You’re just so bitch, go away from here!!” She shouted at me. “Yeah, yeah, I was gonna go anyway, so fuck the world, this sucks.” I couldn’t bare it anymore. I lost completely my mind and slapped her in the face as I shouted bitch, to my mom. “I HATE YOU!” This is just a cold day; my heart is completely soaked in rain. Now, I just wanna fucking leave from here. “How you dare?” She shouted. “Hey, leave me alone, I’m just gonna pack my fucking clothes, LEAVE ME ALONE!!” I ran towards my bedroom and I say my little brother, James crying. “Jessie? Are you Ok? I don’t want you to cry Si-Si.” I felt the tears on my cheeks. “Listen James-the Pirate, don’t cry. It’s Ok. It’ll be fine, take care of mom Ok? I.. I-I.. I don’t want you to cry Ok Little Pirate? It’s horrible, pirates don’t cry darling.” I said trying to calm him; he’s just 5 years old. “Si-Si, don’t go, don’t leave me.” He cried out loud. ·Listen, we’ll see each other, don’t cry James, don’t cry, it’s Ok, I love you so much. Don’t cry, I’ll take you to school some days. I’ll be back soon. Ok?” I was crying now, crying for my small brother James, who didn’t have any fault. He’s innocence was like my light, my joy. He was amazing, he was my little pirate. “I love you too Si-Si.” He followed me repeating these words again and again, whilst his blue sky-eyes were crying heavily. If he’d just done something wrong. I packed some stuff, you know I wasn’t gonna take more than 5 minutes. I saw my white cat, Jelly, standing there inside the closet. She was just a baby. Jelly was so cute, I promise I was never ever gonna get separated from her, so I packed it with me. I wish I could pack James like a little kitten. But I couldn’t, I knew this was my own problem, not his. Poor Pirate, he’s looking so afraid and so confused, I just gotta leave. I got Jelly under my arm, with a black Vintage jacket on my left hand. And quickly rushed to get my destructive Denim-Shorts, I mean, really short. So I packed some panties&bras. I felt really sick, but I had to get away from there. I hurried for some money, I didn’t have, and I’d spent it all in tobacco. I thought quickly, my head was kind of exploding right now. I opened some cabinets in my mother’s room without caring about anything else than of the word money in my head. I saw 200 dollars under some clothes and I grabbed it inside my bra. I didn’t look at my mother again, neither to my little brother.
I even didn’t say good-bye. I just slammed the door after me. I minutes after I was looking at me, drinking more Beer, and sitting with my cell, feeling dizzy and cold, so fucked up with a cat under my arm.
