Horrid Henry's Christmas Carol

Stave 1 - Rude Ralph's Ghost

ENTER HENRY with a book

HENRY: Hello. I'm Horrid Henry. And tonight I shall tell you a very famous story. A Christmas Carl by Charles Dickens. (opens the book) Marley was dead to begin with.... (as he reads the scene opens to moments from the book where Henry is working. DAD enters)

DAD:
Merry Christmas, Henry! God save you!

HENRY: Bah! Humbug!

DAD:
It's not a humbug, Henry. I hope that's meant as a joke.

Henry:
It's not a joke. Come, what is it you want? Don't waste all day, Dad.

DAD:
I only want to wish you a Merry Christmas, Henry. Don't be cross.

HENRY:
What else can I be when I live in such a world of fools as this? Christmas? Bah, humbug! What's Christmas to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older but not an hour richer. If I could work my will, every wormy worm who thinks the opposite as I do should be boiled with his own pudding.

DAD: But Henry. You probably need a break from all that stress. Rejoice for me please.

HENRY:
Then leave me alone then, much good it would do to you. Much good it has ever done you.

DAD:
It doesn't matter. I say Christmas time at last and I say God bless it!

HENRY: I say Bah! Humbug!

DAD:
Don't be Horrid, Henry. Come! Dine with us tomorrow.

HENRY:
I'll dine alone, thank you.

DAD: But why?

HENRY:
Why? Because I said so! Good afternoon.

DAD:
No, Henry, but you never came to see me before I was married. Why give it as a reason for noT coming now?

HENRY: Leave me alone.

DAD:
I'm sorry to see you upset; but I tried to honor Christmas, and I'll keep that good spirit to the last. So, a Merry Christmas, Uncle.

HENRY: Good Afternoon!

DAD:
And a Happy New Year!

HENRY: And a Bah Humbug to you too! PETER!

PETER: Yes, Henry?

HENRY:
The bell, worm! Go answer!

PETER:
Oh goody. (He goes to the entrance.)

HENRY:
(muttering) Merry Christmas...When I'm king, nobody will be allowed to wish me Merry Christmas

PETER:
It's for you, sir.

HENRY:
Of course it's for me. Move on!

PETER:
Right this way, Henry. (The gentleman visitor/Pimply Paul approaches Henry.)

HENRY: Yes?

PAUL:
HENRY AND RALPH's, I believe. Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Henry or Mr. Ralph?

HENRY:
Rude Ralph died 7 years ago what do you want?

PAUL: Well brat. I was wondering if you could donate to the poor....

HENRY:
Donate to the poor eh? No way! That money's mine. 

PAUL: But sir. The poor people have no money. Without supplies, or money, they could perish...

HENRY: Perish, survive! Doesn't matter to me! Now OUT (kicks Paul out of his house) Close the door, Worm. Draft as cold as Christmas blowing in here. Charity! (Peter begins to close up the shop.) Peter!

PETER: Yes, Henry?

HENRY:
Well, to work then!

PETER:
It's 7 PM, Henry.

HENRY: Is it?

PETER:
Yes. And also Christmas evening, sir. I promised to spend time with the my friends and Miss Lovely

HENRY:
Oh, you'll want all day tomorrow off, I suppose.

PETER:
Yes. I would love that

HENRY:
You expect me to give you a day off?

PETER: It's only once a year, sir. 

HENRY: Be here all the earlier the next morning.

PETER: I will, Hen.

HENRY: Then off, off.

PETER:
Oh Goody! Merry Christmas, Henry!

HENRY:
Bah! (As soon as Peter opens the door, the sounds of the street begin, very bright and loud.

Peter is caught up in a swell of people hurrying down the street. Henry goes around the room switching off lights, talking to himself.) Christmas Eve. Carolers! Bah! Humbug. There. Another day. (He opens his door and peers out.) Nothing new. 

(at his house, Henry sits down as he continues to watch Gross Class Zero, when all the power goes out suddenly) WHAT?! THE TV! Come on! (he hears chains) What the-? Chains? 

VOICE OF RALPH: Horrid Henry

HENRY: GET LOST!

(Ralph appears. He and Henry face one another.)

HENRY:
What do you want?

RALPH:
(In a ghostly, unreal voice.) Much.

HENRY: Who are you?

RALPH: Do you remember me? It's me, Rude Ralph

HENRY: But you're Dead.

RALPH:
I am now a ghost, Henry.

HENRY:
Why do you come here?

RALPH: I came to warn you.

You will be haunted by three spirits.

HENRY:
(Scoffing) Is that so?

RALPH: Mark it.

HENRY:
I do not choose to.

RALPH:
(Ominously) Then you will suffer the same fate as I did, burdened by your riches, your greed.

HENRY:
Spirits are nonsense.

RALPH:
(Slowly leaving) Expect the first tomorrow, when the bell tolls one, the second the next night at the

same hour, the third upon the next night when the last stroke of twelve has ended. Look to see me no more. I must wander. Look that, for your own sake, you remember what has passed between us.

HENRY:
Ralph...Don't leave me! 

RALPH:
Goodbye, Henry! (disappears)

HENRY: NOOOOOOOO! (cut to a scene where he is preparing for bed) Well, humbug. I'm not changing! (goes to bed)