Unexpected

Chapter 25

That night Lars threw a welcoming party in his house. Connie was the one picking us up and driving us there. It was a good surprise to see everyone I met on tour in there. Obviously, James was nowhere to be seen. I didn't expect him to be there anyway.

It was a nice and warm night and Lars threw a barbecue in his garden. Music was playing and we were having fun. My mother talked to everyone and for a moment, seeing all the people common to me and James, I thought of him. My smile disappeared and I sat on the lawn with my back against a tree letting my thoughts run wild. Though, I showed everyone how strong I was, deep inside I missed a manly support. I hated to be alone in the doctor's office when all the other women had their partner with them. I felt lonely even if I was always with my daughter as a company. I missed her dad. I missed him deeply because I loved him so.

"A penny for your thoughts?" Lars joked sitting by my side.

"Just thinking about life..."

"Are you having fun?" He asked.

"Sure, thanks for this. Man, I can't thank you enough for everything you're doing. I owe you a lot, really." I smiled at him.

Lars looked away and stared at nothing. "It's ok Cleo... you don't have to thank me that much, honestly."

"Does he know that I am here?" I asked him.

"Yes." Lars confirmed.

"He asked you? How does he know?" I inquired.

I remembered Lars had told me James, not even once, asked him about me or Willow. Somehow my hopes grew a bit that he had gotten interested in her to say the least.

"I just told him."

"You told him? Are you out of your mind? What if he comes to find me? I don't want him near me or my daughter..." I said everything contrary to my thoughts, but I was so afraid of my feeling.

"Don't be unfair to him Cleo..." He said.

I knew Lars loved James as a brother but defending him in that situation was rather offensive to me.

"Unfair? Lars..." I said indignant. "I wasn't the one being unfair or telling him horrible things..."

"He also knows it is a girl. I told him he was having a girl." He continued.

"He's not having anything. I am having a baby girl, not him." I shot shaking.

"And he smiled Cleo..." Lars said. I stared at him silent. "He smiled at the news..."

"I don't care. This baby is only mine and he better stay the fuck away from us." With that I prepared myself to get up but Lars grabbed my arm to prevent me to do so.

"I know him, alright? I know him better than anyone and I know he does things he shouldn't do. Especially when things get out of control because he loves to control. I know he did wrong and I am sure he also knows that. The fact that he hasn't said anything to you these months doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't care. He knows he fucked up and now he simply doesn't know what to do to mend things. That's him! That's the way he deals with his shit... he closes himself in his bubble. I know he's struggling..."

"Like I said Lars, I don't give a shit about that now. I don't want him near us. As far as I am concerned, he denied this little girl twice. I think that's enough and the fact that he didn't call at all just means to me that he doesn't want her and doesn't care about her. I don't care if he has problems. We all do and disappearing in this case..." I shook my head not able to finish my thought and then I got up.