Scarred Comfort

Author's Chapter

Please read this...

This is important for me, so please don't criticize me cause I already took the blame. Sorry, if I can't get over with Kageyama and Hinata. I'm not having favoritism of characters just because they are the so called "protagonists". I love Haikyuu and every characters of it cause they're unique in their own ways. This is quite embarrassing for me to say or maybe I'm just ashamed of myself too much to let it go. I don't care if they're fictional characters  or a real human being. I still love the 'duo'. Why? It's simple yet meaningful for me.

It all started two years ago, maybe, I don't clearly remembered anything but only a few details. I was diagnosed with depression, without a single clue about the problem. They told me about what happened, how I don't recognize the people around me even my own family. I don't even know what triggered it. I often have panic attacks that always resurfaced with such simple words or non verbal interactions.

I love almost everything, I don't criticize or judge people based on what they like and who they are. You're gay then that's wonderful, you're lonely then I'm here, you're not enough then I'll slap them your worth, you like dolls even if you're a guy don't worry I'll support you. But for me it's a lot harder to take my own words. I love music whether it's English, Japanese, Korean or of any language. I also like anime cause I love how strong the bond of friendship goes and how they kept on going despite the hardships and failures they get. It made me realize a lot of things and regretted my own feelings. It felt like I had finally woken up from a deep slumber. I felt the air in my lungs once more after the deep waters penetrating my insides. It's like the metal bars that kept me in place were now broken down leaving me a small way to get out of my own trance. But it finally set me free when I happened to watch Haikyuu. Right, they're just fictional characters but for me they're so much more. They're my saviour, my happiness that kept me back to my feet. Later on, I found ships like Iwaoi and such especially Kagehina. And I was totally surprised at it and felt a bit of pride and proudness thinking about LGBTQ+  relationships out there. I want to support them too and Kageyama and Hinata made it possible for me to get here in where I am now. I'm still a rookie in some other ways but I know I am a fujoshi. I respect everyone despite of who they are. Even if you're a psychopath, I'll still respect you. It doesn't matter who you are for me you are you and that's enough for me to respect you. I think that's the problem, I can't get to know my self and learn how to treat me as in what I see and treats everyone. I'm scared, I'm worried and I'm nervous. What if I do something wrong? then my life would go back to that pitch black nothingness again. I don't wanna go back. That's when I decided to make Hinata and Kageyama my main inspiration along with it is Haikyuu. I also love other anime shows but I just can't get enough of the two. So I hope you'll understand me. Whenever you felt like you wanna read Kagehina stories feel free to read my book(s). And to the one who commented about wanting me to write a story about the twins, don't worry I'll be writing it soon. I'm open to any suggestions and ideas of everyone. But please be gentle on me, cause I'm like Asahi. Thank you very much for reading my story. I truly appreciated it though I don't really have any ideas to why so many people would still want to read it.

Anyways, I'm also focused on enhancing my writing skills if ever I had the time to do so since I helped my mom on our business. I'll be editing this book more and more until it gets better, not perfect. Cause nothing's perfect but our flaws are.

Once again, I'm really thankful for everyone since you were all awesome. My medications are still ongoing while my monthly checkups were delayed because of the pandemic. I hope you all have faith in me and believe in what I can do cause that's what I always sees in everybody.

I love you all 😊💕💕💕