The Fault in Our Stars - Larry Stylinson

Harry

I woke up with the feeling that something was wrong. I looked at the clock, 03.05 am. That's when I realized that Louis wasn't lying next to me like he had been when I fell asleep. I called out his name but got no response. Felt the panic build up inside of me. I rushed out of bed into the living room. The flat was empty. I noticed a letter on the kitchen counter, it had my name written on it. I unfolded it and read:

Harry

When you're reading this I'm already gone, I hope that you slept well.

Looking at you while writing this makes it harder but I know that you'll find another someone that doesn't always make you wanna cry. We were always meant to say goodbye, this could never have worked out right. I didn't want to burn us out. I didn't do this to hurt you now but I just can't stop. When mom died I stopped living. She was my everything and the emptiness that was left after she was gone was just unbearable. I've been fighting for over a year now and I'm just tired you know I can't take it anymore. I made a promise to mom on the day she died that I would finish High school and thanks to you I did. I could never thank you enough for what you've done for me. You saved me. You're a blessing, the best gift I've ever received. You made me so happy. There used to be days when I actually thought that everything would be alright. We'd be hanging out, doing something and everything would feel just right and I would think  " it will be okay if it just can be like this forever" but of course nothing can stay just as it is forever. I'm so sorry for being selfish like this but I'm going home Harry. I'm finally coming home. You know I love you so. Please tell your family that I love them and that I'm so thankful for everything they have done for me. I'm really sorry that it had to turn out this way. I'm sorry for using you as my antidote. This was never fair to you, you didn't know what you were up for but I want you to know that you couldn't have loved me better. I know that you have a bright future ahead of you, you're going to accomplish big things. I wish you nothing but the best. I'll be looking down on you and eventually we'll meet again.

You saved my life.

Always in my heart Harry Styles.

Yours sincerely, Louis.

The tears were streaming down my face. I felt so fucking stupid for thinking that he was getting better I mean of course he wasn't, I should have seen this coming. I had a pretty good guess at where he could be so I ran the fastest I've ever run to my car. Turned the engine on and did a flying start. I prayed to god that it wouldn't be too late. I can't imagine a world with him gone.

When I got to the cemetery I found him lying in the grass. Pulled him in to feel his heartbeat. Wonder if he hears me screaming "please don't leave me". Driving on a long endless highway, he is silent beside me. A living nightmare I can't escape from. Trying to hide the shock and the chills in my bones.

I took him in my arms and ran into the e.r. Screamed at someone to help me. They took him away on a table. Rushed him down the corridor. I paced back and forth as he laid still. They pulled him in to feel his heartbeat. Can he hear me screaming "please don't leave me"?

I went into his room where he laid still unconscious. He didn't look like my Louis anymore. He looked more dead than alive. I sat down next to him and took his hand.

"Lou love-" I began to say, the tears were once again streaming down my face.

"Hold on, I still want you"

"Come back, I still need you"

" I'll make it right"

"I swear to love you all my life."

"I don't wanna let go"

" I know I'm not that strong"

"I just wanna hear you saying baby, let's go home"

"Yeah, I just wanna take you home" My voice broke.