Shattered

back to writing

Yuka is gathering some volleyballs when she stops in her tracks. A sudden idea for her story is hitting her so hard it surprises her. She drops the balls right then and there walks towards the bench where she keeps her notebook and pen for notes of the boys their playing. She opens it on the last page and starts writing. 'Are you alright?' the coach asks. 'I think I haven't felt so perfect in months.' Yuka answers while she keeps writing. Keiji comes walking over and peeks over his girlfriend's shoulder to see what she is doing. 'You are writing again?' he asks both surprised and happy. 'It is just an idea for the story, nothing is set in stone yet.' She answers. After completing the note the brunette picks up the balls she dropped earlier and puts them in the basket where they belong. 'Is she really alright?' the coach asks the vice-captain. 'I would say she is finally getting back up for real.' the boy answers. 'I can't say I understand, but I trust you.' after that the coach starts yelling at some of the boys for slacking off.

When she gets back home Yuka opens her laptop and flips open both the notebook with the official story draft and the notebook she uses as a manager on the page she made the note about the idea. The second she places her fingers on the keys of her laptop all drive and inspiration seems to disappear. She stays behind her desk for a while, hoping inspiration will strike once again. After fifteen minutes the brunette smiles softly. 'I am getting closer but am not there yet.' she says to herself. She shuts her laptop down and leaves everything for what it is.

With a warm cup of tea Yuka curls up on the couch watching a movie. From the corner of her eye she sees the small wooden box Misha always called her treasure box. She never could bring herself to look what her sister had stored in it. Whenever Yuka asked Misha about it Misha would always answer with: 'I keep my treasured objects and feelings in it. I will show you when I think it is time you know, or you will see the box someday and feel the moment is there you will learn what I treasure so much.' While moving Yuka scolded Lev for wanting to look into the box because she wasn't ready to learn what is in it. Now she finally understands what Misha said. The brunette pauses the movie she is watching and takes the box. She places it on the dining table and looks at the box. She reaches for the lid but stops when she touches it. She is afraid of what she might learn. Yuka takes out her phone and dials her boyfriend. 'What's up?' he asks. 'I know it is kind of late, but do you think you can come over?' The girl asks. 'Is something wrong?' Keiji asks worried. 'No nothing is wrong. I am about to open Misha's treasure box, but I am kind of afraid of what I may find.' She admits. 'Want me to take Bokuto and get Kenma and Kuroo there too?' The black-haired boy asks. Yuka thinks for a second before she answers. 'Yes, I feel like I can use some more support.' she answers not really understanding the feeling herself. 'I will call Bokuto. Can you give Kuroo a call? I am sure he will end up dragging Kenma with him no matter what.' The brunette laughs. 'That is pretty true yeah. If it ends up getting too late you guys can stay the night.' The boy on the other side agrees and ends the call to get his friend. After some scrolling, she finds Kuroo's number and gives him a call too. 'What's up Kara....Fukurodani girl.' Kuroo says picking up. 'Yo rooster head. I am going to open my sister her treasure box and feel like I can use some support. Mind coming over with Kenma? Bokuto and Keiji will be here too and you guys can stay the night if it gets too late.' She answers. 'Rooster head huh? But fine, I will get Kenma so we will be there in a while.' Kuroo answers before hanging up.

Half an hour later everyone has arrived and they gathered around the small dining table. Yuka takes a deep breath and opens the small box. The first item she sees makes her tear up already. It is the old dip pen that Yuka gave Misha for her art years ago. After carefully taking it out some old toys follow. Then there is a bunch of pictures from Misha and her friends, and also quite some of the two sisters together. Underneath the pictures there are some sketches and drawings Yuka never saw before. When she looks at some of the worked-out drawings she gasps. Misha must have drawn these while they were working on their current story. 'They look amazing.' Kuroo says. Yuka looks at them. A black haired girl wearing an school uniform standing on one leg looking like she just made a turn with a childish smile, A blonde haired girl and a blonde haired boy hit a red haired girl and red haired boy on the back of their heads. A chestnut brown-haired boy who is sitting against the wall with pure relief on his face while he is calling someone. The entire group throwing snowballs and then a beautiful drawing of a well maintained grave with five bouquets of flowers on them. 'Who are the people in all of them tough?' Kenma asks. 'They are the characters of the story I was writing before Misha and my dad died. Misha made the illustrations while I take care of the plot. We were about to re-read and shave of the rough edges when the accident happened. She must have wanted to show me these later.' Yuka answers tearing up. 'I am certain she already scanned them and worked them out on her tablet too.' the girl continues. 'There are more here.' Keiji says. Yuka looks in the box and a pile of worked out drawings for every story draft they made was seen. 'She made so many of them.' The brunette says shocked. 'Saegusa, there is a note left on the bottom.' Bokuto says. Yuka takes it out and starts reading it

Dear big sis,

Life is unpredictable and either of us may disappear at any moment without any warning. If you disappear on me, I know I will have your story drafts to fall back on. I may be the lesser writer, but I will turn your ideas in beautiful stories. If I were to leave you behind things may get messy for you. Whenever you got stuck with your writing, I was the one you would turn too. I am sure you will find a new person that can guide you in the harder stages of your writing. Because I could also lose my ability to see or draw I worked forward, A bunch of drawings can be found in this box, all of them meant for your stories. I made some drawings that don't match your drafts so you can always look at them if you need a new turn or twist. Listen up my big sister. If the worst happened and I am gone when you read this, know I don't regret anything. Keep on writing, even if it hurts. You are so talented it would be a waste if you give up. My illustrations will be your guiding light. Just as your friends will be if you end up getting lost. You will become a great author, keep your head up and show them who Yuka Saegusa is. You know how your story should go by heart. All you have to do is relighting the spark that drove you to write. You can do it.

Your biggest supporter, Misha

After reading these supporting words Yuka just cried. She didn't know what to say while tears just kept rolling down her cheeks. Her friends pulled her in a hug. Their support made it just a little easier to deal with the pain. 'Your sister really loved you.' Kuroo says. Yuka nods. 'It's strange. It is almost as if she knew she would pass away early.' Even if Kenma didn't mean anything with it the brown-haired girl looks up. Suddenly a few things click inside Yuka's head. She runs towards the study and comes back with the draft notebook. 'I always wrote my ideas in black and Misha's in blue, this way we could check back who came up with the best ideas later on.' She explains flipping through the notebook. When she reaches the page for the story the two were working on, she starts reading the blue notes. 'Why did I never notice this.' Yuka mumbles. 'What's wrong?' Bokuto asks her confused. 'Misha.... was trying to make me understand she was having a hard time through ideas for my story.' The girl drops to the floor. 'The background with bullies, the depressed chapter, the farewell. All off them where Misha's ideas. She tried to tell me she wasn't okay but I failed to notice!' Keiji pulls Yuka close to him. 'It is not your fault. She passed away in the car accident so you couldn't have saved her back then. I am sure you and your stories were saving her. She said it herself, if she were to die before you, she would work out your ideas. Misha hadn't given up on life.' He says. Even if she didn't, I failed to get the signs, I should have been a better sister. What if she had done something to herself!' It was clear that the brunette was blaming herself. 'Saegusa, how did your sister die?' Kuroo asks with piercing eyes. 'She passed away because of her wounds from the accident.' Yuka answers weakly. 'Could you have prevented that?' The Nekoma captain asks. 'No.' The girl answers. 'That is right, she did nothing to herself. She may have been having a hard time, but just like Akaashi said: she hadn't given up on life. Stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't know.' Kuroo's words hit hard. 'Feeling guilty of something that may not be even true is not going to make it easier.' Kenma says. Yuka can only nod. 'It may also be a coincidence. Look at the other notes she made for stories.' Keiji says. After doing what he said Yuka came to a conclusion. 'You guys are right, Misha was having it hard, but she didn't lose to these thoughts.' She says. 'Why don't we go and sleep?' Keiji uppers. Everyone agrees. Kuroo and Kenma share the guest room, Bokuto takes the comfy couch and Keiji and Yuka share her bed. 'Get some rest, you deserve it.' Keiji says.

Sleep doesn't come. The steady breathing of her boyfriend tells Yuka he is asleep. Carefully she slips out of bed and she quietly sneaks to the living room. After taking the notebook and drawings from Misha the brunette walks towards her study. She turns on the small desk lamp and opens her laptop. After taking a deep breath she starts typing. The story seemed to continue itself in her head and those two sentences Misha wrote came back in Yuka's head. 'You already know how your story should go by heart. All you have to do is relighting that spark that drove you to write.' A small smile formed on Yuka's face. 'Misha you really know me too well.' She mumbles. The girl didn't notice her boyfriend leaning against the doorframe behind her, smiling fondly as she worked on her story. Bokuto, Kuroo and Kenma ended up joining him when they noticed the small glow of the light coming from the study. All four of them were glad Yuka had picked up what she used to love.