A Silence Full of Sound [hiatus]

1.1 - Leo: The Doctor

Leo McGarry was used to the silence. The yawning, gaping stillness of early morning in the White House, before many of the other staffers arrived. It was, in fact, a welcome reprieve from the usual hustle of the White House, something else he'd gotten used to, but today would be different. The day after Christmas was always quiet. Calm. Next week, the Senate would reconvene. The upcoming leadership breakfast brought uneasy bipartisanship, but joy and peace would quickly be replaced by contempt, arguments, and mudslinging. The new year also brought the State of the Union with it. Sam and Toby were already hard at work on the foundations of the speech, and he did not doubt that it would surpass the last one with flying colors.

But none of that was what Leo was currently worried about. Instead, as he walked through the halls toward his office - his steel-blue eyes roaming over empty desks, the sound of Christmas carols still in the air - he found himself worried about Josh. The week before had brought literal blood, sweat, and tears, along with an overwhelming heap of anxiety and sadness, to the usual Christmas festivities. Toby, bless him, had been diligent in trying to bring Christmas spirit to the White House, even though he was Jewish, but the pall of tragedy still hung in the air. Like the lingering taste of burnt food, their ordeal in August, and Rosslyn, soured everything. Josh exploded in front of the President, and all Leo could see were the echoes of his own pain and anguish. The weight of it, that heavy vice-like grip, had yet to loosen in his chest.

He hoped Josh had had a good Christmas away from everything. He hoped the younger man had gone home to see his mom and decompress but, if he knew Josh, he wouldn't have left D.C. Leo absently wondered if Donna might have dragged him back home, kicking and screaming the entire way. The thought made him smile briefly to himself as he unlocked his office door and pushed his way inside. Donna was good for Josh. She'd seen what no one else had. She'd gotten him help. He hoped she would continue to look after his deputy in the coming days and months.

Once inside his office, he tuned the various televisions there to the news stations. Removing his silk scarf and jacket, he seated himself behind the desk. For a moment, he let the stillness creep into his bones and loosen the tension in his shoulders. Then, he reached into his suit jacket and pulled out his glasses, getting down to work. The first item of business was the abbreviated summary from Stanley Keyworth, a therapist from the American Trauma Victims Association they'd brought in to talk to Josh. He knew that patient-client privilege was something Stanley wouldn't break. But in this job, in order to keep their noses clean, Stanley would have to concede to a level of transparency, and Leo was grateful he'd been willing to comply.

Josh had told Leo he'd been diagnosed with PTSD, but reading it in the file tightened the vice in his chest. He'd promised Josh that, so long as he had a job, Josh would too. Leo was determined to keep that promise, but he wasn't sure for just how long he'd be able to. If the newspapers caught wind that Josh had PTSD, it would incur a flurry of op-eds and articles that would call him, and his duties as a high ranking official, into question. He couldn't bear to consider that happening, but the potential was there, causing a heaviness in his chest. He knew who would be leading the charge if the information were to leak.

A soft sigh punctuated the silence, and he ran his weathered fingers through his short-cropped, grey-blonde hair. He wasn't sure how he would keep the information out of the public eye, but he was determined to do so. If that meant changing the structure of the White House and its administration, so be it. He knew that was a possibility. Doing so in order to put more emphasis on mental health was something that few previous administrations had even toyed with. Then again, few of them had dealt with gun violence and the strain that put on their minds and emotions.

Leo sat there for a moment while the TVs droned on, his gaze continuing to flick over the file without really reading it. Instead, he spent several minutes thinking carefully before coming to the conclusion he'd have to speak to the President. He picked up the phone and dialed an all too familiar number.