Self Preservation

Chapter I - The Testing

Disclaimer: Once again, everything belongs to Ms. Veronica Roth!

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Baboom. Baboom. Baboom. Ba--

I awoke to a sharp pain in my wrist and a gasp in my throat. The white bedding was tousled, and my gown was twisted sharply around my body, wrapping me in a cocoon. I bent over, half falling into my lap. The nervousness. All the nerves. I could feel them. Everywhere. An involuntary chill slid down my spine. I knew I was still partly asleep; maybe that was why I could still hear the distant beat of a heart pounding in my ears.

My room, which was a pale sky-blue, was a wreck. Dirty clothes hung here and there, past attempts to distract myself scattered the area. But the worst was all the books--some half open, some closed and flung from their covers, some stacked wayward on what used to be a shelf but what now resembled where a bomb had detonated.

All the research and all the stressing were for nothing. I knew where I had to go. Even this test wasn't going to change it.

Two knocks wrapped quickly on my bedroom door. It automatically slid open with the flash of a blinding blue light. I cringed momentarily, cradling my wrist.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Mom's voice stood out against the gentle hum of my AC.

"Oh nothing," I said, "I just slept on it wrong."

Mom gave me a sympathetic look that made me heat with frustration. I knew that she wasn't referring to my wrist.

"Mom I'll be fine today. I have nothing to worry about. I mean, think about it logically."

"Okay, okay. I know there is nothing to fear." She said it with confidence but the avoidance playing in her eyes made me think otherwise. What did I have to fear?

Fear is illogical. As far as the Erudite's are concerned, all fears are irrational. At least that's what Jeanine Matthews splurts to us, but I swear I saw her flinch away from a fly once. I almost kissed that fly.

"Well... come on out after you've gotten ready." She drew out her words carefully, giving me a you-better-hurry glance before disappearing through the door that slid shut behind her. I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding.

I hopped in the shower, the smell of fried eggs giving me initiative. The steaming water turned my skin red and blotchy with clean. I sighed. Not even a hot shower was going to calm my buzzing nerves. I used shampoo and lavender body wash, trying to make it before my eggs grew cold. I also used some mint conditioner--although in order to get the remnants out I had to dig in the bottle's opening with my pinky--handy, I know...

I slipped into my outfit--a blue button-up shirt with slate grey capris. The weather was nice, and I looked at the clock in alarm. I had 10 minutes to get ready.

I rushed into the kitchen. Stainless steel light fixtures hung like urban chandeliers over the white marble countertop. One of the navy stools was already pulled out for me. I knew everyone had probably gone to work. I shoveled my breakfast quickly into my mouth, trying to drown out the deafening silence with my tapping feet. Two minutes to get to the shuttle stop.

I stumbled over myself trying to make it out the door with my backpack halfway on my shoulders. I jogged down the pastel blue hallway of our complex, trying to make it to the elevator. I almost hit Will on my journey.

"Ahhhah!" His screech made me cringe back and almost fall. We both snapped out of it quickly however, and he grabbed my hand and started pulling me down the flights of concrete steps that sloped solemnly under the fluorescent lights.