141 | | ash

➳ thirteen

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A S H T O N 

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After I was brought out of the house, everything is a blur. I remember hearing sirens, people yelling at me or at one another, and the sudden entry of what I think is an ambulance. I can't see much, but for some reason, my hearing is a-okay. This doesn't help people asking me questions.

There's the blonde female agent, who I think name is JJ, in the ambulance with me. Her voice is soothing, but soon enough, my sight comes back. I sit up quickly not only to be greeted by forceful hands pushing me back on the gurney. I struggle, but JJ walks up to me and shakes her head.

"Ashton, stop struggling. You're in an ambulance. You need to stay calm and very still. You've lost too much blood. Your wound is starting to get infected. Please, calm down." She looks at me desperately, and I nod calming myself down.

"W-Where's Hannah?" I croak out remembering Hannah had walked out of the room the same time I did, but she wasn't on the front step. I don't like the idea of her still being trapped in the house with Dana. Not only her, but my entire band, and even Reid, who I can't stand but don't want to see die.

JJ shushes me again. I don't like being shushed. "They're fine. I just got confirmation they made it out of the house. Agents Hart and Reid and the rest of your band are all safe." A smile appears across her slightly pink lips.

A part of me relaxes again. The monitors connected to my heart rate slow as well. "What about Dana?"

JJ bites her lip. I know it isn't good. "She decided not to give up the fight. Agent Prentiss had to shoot her down because she pulled a gun on the agents who entered the house. The shot was fatal, sadly."

The rest of the trip to the hospital is silent, and I manage to force myself to black out due to my own thoughts and the pain swelling in my arm. 

- - -

I flicker my eyes open and slightly panic when I'm no longer in the ambulance. I feel like my left arm was hit my a bus, and only that area, specifically, was hit. I can't even move it, but its cast in a sling across my chest.

I moan and sit myself up trying to remember what happened. My mind is clouded from drugs. When I turn my head, I see Hannah sitting in the chair next to the bed. Her eyes are closed, and I assume she's sleeping. She looks so peaceful, and I don't want to wake her.

I decide to turn away feeling that the sight of me staring at her is pretty creepy. However, shortly after I do so, I hear her toss and turn in the seat.

"Ashton?" She asks groggily. Even in a tired tone of voice, she still sounds as beautiful as ever.

"Hi," I say turning back towards her. I stretch my one good arm and place it behind my head. "How long have you been here?"

Hannah shrugs and checks her watch absentmindedly. "About two hours. You were out cold before I got here, though."

I nod and lick my chapped lips. "Do you know how long I've been out?" I hate people waiting on me. I hate being hurt. I've been hurt my whole life, and I don't like the feeling of pity. I can't imagine what my band was doing when they were in here. I can't imagine what the public thinks of me. I was too weak to defend myself. Then again, if I hadn't stepped in front of that bullet, Luke would've been dead.

Hannah stands up and walks over to my bed. I move to the side so she can sit on the edge, which she does shortly after. "You've been out for ten hours. The surgery to remove the clot in your arm, retrieve the bullet, and make sure there was no infection took shorter than expected, so the anesthetic used during surgery and the combination of your exhaustion contributed to your 'over-sleeping' situation." She smiles at me.

I manage a laugh but wince as pain strikes up again in my arm. I hold the injured limb with my healthy one and furrow my brow. "I still can't feel it."

"That's expected."

"How long until I can play drums again?"

She shrugs. "Probably a few months. Hey, in the mean time, you'll get to be that one armed drummer!"

I laugh and adjust myself into a more comfortable position. The hospital bed creaks in response. "Hannah, about what happened in the house-"

"Ashton, don't worry about it," She says cutting me off and shaking her head. "It was nothing, right? The, the pain was talking."

I bite my lip knowing if I don't say something now, I never will. The case ended. Tomorrow, or maybe even in a few hours, she'll be whisked back to Quantico, and I'll be left in L.A. Then again, next months, we're scheduled to go back on tour. I can't just let my feelings slide.

"It wasn't, though," I manage looking deep into her eyes. I notice they're blue, but not like Luke's blue. They're darker than that, but I really love them.

Hannah bites her lip and stands up from the bed. "Ashton, you know I can't get involved with you."

"Why? I'm no longer a 'victim' like you keep saying. The case is over, end of story. Why can't you just admit you feel the same way?"

"Feel what way, Ashton?" She's yelling now. But it's not in anger or frustration. I know it's because she's confused, herself. "How can you assume I feel the same way you're feeling?"

I sigh and rub my tired eyes. "You can't just say that kiss didn't mean anything to you. I see the way you look at me. You hated me in the beginning, yeah I know that, and I know you're 'not supposed to' get involved with me. I know that, too. But I can't keep pretending I don't feel anything."

Hannah stays silent for a while. She begins to pace the room. I know she agrees with me. It's just a matter of time before she verbally says it. She turns to me with tears in her eyes, and my heart sinks.

"I do feel something, Ashton. Are you happy, now? But you don't understand. I physically can't do this to myself again. All people do is hurt each other, and I'm done getting hurt." Her voice is soft and vulnerable. I don't like this side of her.

I want answers. Why does she feel the way she does? What does she mean she can't do this to herself again? Why does she believe all people do is hurt each other? I know I can't push her, though.

Hannah stares at me blankly waiting for a response. I don't know if I can give her one. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

She nods and wipes away a fallen tear from her cheek. "Yes. You can stay away from me. Goodbye, Ashton. Have a nice life."

Before I know it, she's gone. She storms out of the room after angrily grabbing her jacket from the chair she was sitting on before. Hannah Hart, the one person in my life who is a challenge, but at the same time, I want desperately, is gone from my grasp. There's nothing I can do about it.

Luke comes into the room with his mouth full of whatever he was eating before entering. "What happened, mate?" He asks between chews.

I close my eyes and bring my non-aching arm to my forehead. "I don't know," I say reopening my eyes and turning to my friend. "I don't know, but I do know I just fucked up."

- - -

one more chapter & then an epilogue whAT

the character ask answers will be up after the last chapter but before the epilogue so please comment on the chapter or send in your questions to me! shoutout to those who have done it already.

THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVELY SUPPORT YOU GUYS AHH! ily all :)

- lauren xx