Loving Him (FTM) (Wattys2015)

Part Six

"Uh, you don't mind your man being in the middle of a slut sandwich?"

Tearing my eyes away from the scene playing about thirty feet away next to an Olympic-sized pool, I looked up, watching as Damon settled next to me on the grass, offering one of the chilled bottles of beer. Although I was the designated driver tonight, I decided to accept it. One beer wouldn't hurt. Besides it might ease the tension, therefore preventing me from waltzing over there to hurt either the blonde or the redhead.

Think I would zoom in on the blonde as the redhead was captain of the girl's basketball team and fought hard (no pun intended) for a position on the school's wrestling team, which had only consisted of males. She hadn't lost a match yet.

Pre-loosened cap twisted and removed, I took a swig, wincing at its bitter taste. Truly couldn't stand the taste of beer, but I truly needed something stronger than a Coke. Okay, I know, I know. I'm only eighteen (my birthday was last month) so I shouldn't be drinking, but once again I wanted to put Spencer in a headlock or hug him. If his hand drifted any lower down the wrestler's back I just might do the former right in front of the many students milling about.

"How do you know they're sluts?"

A trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth, Damon's grin briefly displayed a couple of pearly white fangs. "Easy. Blondie is obviously a hooker and though Ginger is a nurse, she's showing enough cleavage one would think she's about to receive a mammogram."

Glad not to have any liquid in my mouth when he explained, I laughed. "Sluts they are then." We clinked our bottles together in agreement. He asked me how I was doing as my mouth pulled on the bottle. I shrugged. "Fine."

"Convincing." A warm hand touching my chin, Damon gently turned my face in his direction. A pair of amazingly light eyes filled with concern, he offered a soft smile. "Talk to me, Kels. What's going on between you and my best dude over there?"

I emitted the most dramatic sigh. "Things between us are pretty great when his mother hasn't upset him further. Wish we had enough money of our own. Since Spencer's birthday is a week away, we could get an apartment together." I shook my head. "Want him out of that house because it's not improving at all. Been trying to remain optimistic, but that fades a little more with each passing day."  

"I know. He told me." Damon's sigh matched mine. "I take it something happened tonight? That's why he's been drinking like a fish and involved in a slut sandwich? I'm always up for beer at a party, but Spence always declines when offered alcohol." 

I explained to Damon that when I arrived at the Diamond household to pick up Spencer dressed in my sharp, navy blue police uniform, his mother answered the door. While waiting for my date, we managed to indulge in polite conversation coated in a thin layer of tension. Although one of his favorite nicknames for me was jailbird, Spencer walked down the stairs resembling a major jailbird dressed in an orange jumpsuit with a white T-shirt underneath. The sleeves rolled up enough to expose his forearms, the right one showed a fake yet realistic tattoo of a snake wrapped around a sword.

Having decided on our Halloween costumes together, we smiled while admiring one another. The smiles waned when I pulled out my phone and asked Mrs. Diamond to snap a picture of us. She declined without bothering to offer an explanation. However, she did murmur for us to have a good time before she walked away. Fortunately, Mr. Diamond, having witnessed it, reached for my phone with a genuine smile in place. He took a half dozen shots of us, even offering pose suggestions.

"It's like she constantly has to toss out some negativity. Wouldn't have been a big deal to take our picture." Uttering maybe a total of twenty words during the drive here, Spencer had an alcoholic beverage in hand just a couple minutes after walking through the door and unfortunately (or fortunately depending on a partygoer's dedication to sobriety) there was plenty of spirits floating around considering the teenage host's parents were out of the country.

Out of the closet after having revealed to his parents, Spencer overall received thoughtful responses when sharing that he was transgender. Thankfully, it turned out that Timmy wasn't the only sibling in his corner. All four reacted well, although it took his oldest brother the longest to adjust to the fact he had another brother instead of a baby sister. Mr. Diamond was terrific, starting to use the correct pronouns and respecting that his youngest preferred to be called Spencer. I understood that over the last four months he endeavored to talk to his wife, but she remained stubborn.

Having been courageous enough to send a general coming out message on his Facebook page, by the time we returned to school as seniors, it was obvious that word had spread like fire on a super windy day. The first day we walked onto campus, although we weren't touching, I could feel Spencer tense up beside me.

A glance toward him and I noticed the concerned expression leveled in my direction. I could tell what he was thinking without him being required to vocally share those thoughts. Spencer was more concerned about my reaction to people staring at us, some whispering while doing so.

In an attempt to assuage his fears that I felt uncomfortable, I leaned over to kiss his cheek while slipping my hand into his, linking our fingers. I'd hoped he understood what my actions were attempting to say--I didn't give a damn who stared and whispered. Overall, our first day back went well enough and each day the stares and whispers lessened until no one truly seemed to care any longer about the previously bisexual and now pansexual girl involved in a monogamous relationship with the heterosexual transgender guy.

"You never answered me."

"What?"

Right leg raised with the sole of his shoe pressed into the grass, Damon balanced the beer bottle on his knee while looking at me. "Spence dancing with Norah and Justine. Doesn't bother you?"

I offered another shrug. "We're allowed to dance with other people." As long as naked dancing remained our thing and seriously he needed to watch those hands.

Damon released a low whistle. "You're a cool girlfriend. My last girl would have pushed me into that pool or cussed me out." After a pause he chuckled. "Probably both."

I smiled at him before returning my attention to the gyrating hooker, nurse and prisoner. "If you could read my thoughts, you wouldn't think I'm so cool." Damon directed the conversation to a much safer topic, which I managed to focus and participate in until during the next song Ginger aka Justine pulled a red stethoscope from around her neck, using it to run along Spencer's back as he currently faced Norah. "Damon, I need to go yank the meat from that sandwich."

Chuckling, he saluted me with his beer bottle. "Handle your business, Kels." He watched as I settled my police cap atop my head, hair tightly pulled back and arranged in a bun. Thinking they might make me appear more intimidating, I tugged the mirror aviator sunglasses from a pocket, sliding the arms over my ears.

"Damn, that's sexy."

Smirking at Damon, I stood up, dusting at the seat of my pants. Hands on the leather duty belt around my waist, which held a black gun (a plastic water gun), baton (also plastic), my phone in the place of a two-way radio and a pair of handcuffs that although weren't police grade, actually worked, I began walking. Mouth set in a straight line, I approached the trio, tapping Spencer on the shoulder. 

Looking toward me, a wide smile found purchase on his lips. "Hey!" He managed to make that succinct word sound like it had two syllables. "Baby, you wanna dance with us?" he asked, speech a bit slurred from beer and Jello shots.

I made a show of glancing toward my watch. "No, we should get home." Because I didn't want Mrs. Diamond to know he had been drinking since I wasn't sure how she would react, I called Mr. Diamond's cell earlier and cleared it with him for Spencer to spend the night at my house.

Lower lip protruding, my boyfriend shook his head. "Don' wanna go home." Having spent a significant amount of time together over the last six months, I immediately knew what that meant. He wasn't saying that he didn't want to go home because he was enjoying himself so much. It was more that he wasn't eager to return to the Diamond household where he would undoubtedly interact with his hot and cold mother.

"You're crashing at my place." Glancing toward the blonde and redhead, both appeared annoyed by my interruption. Supposed they wanted me to apologize for interrupting their attempted molestation of my boyfriend. Handcuffs removed from my duty belt, I twirled one cuff around my index finger while gazing toward Spencer. "Let's get home. I have great plans for you." Shades raised to the top of my head, I winked at him though I admit those words were meant for Norah and Justine to hear. My perhaps not so subtle way of saying he's mine. 

I honestly didn't have a sexy plan for three reasons. One, as inebriated as he was, I doubted once we left the party Spencer would be conscious for much longer. Two, even if he remained lucid for a significant length of time, since we were going to my house, I promised Mom back in June that there wouldn't be any--using her words--hanky panky. Three, I still held the desire to put him in a headlock, so therefore wasn't in the mood to get naked with him.

However, that was subject to change with one of those adorable grins from--nope. Nope, nope, nope. I would not succumb for the rest of the night no matter how adorably sexy he could be and now looked in that bright orange jumpsuit. Really, how many people could make prison orange attractive? Even the drunkenness didn't diminish my constant need to touch and stare at him.

God, we had been a couple for half the year and I was still just as sprung. Perhaps moreso.

Definitely moreso.

Spencer's eyes alit with fascination. "What plans?"

I twirled the cuff again while suggestively wiggling my brows. "You'll have to come with me to find out."

He glanced toward Damon who had another student dressed as Wonder Woman to keep him company. Both were laughing, her hand placed rather high up his thigh. Hm, would Dracula be spending some extra special quality time with a superhero tonight? "You don't mind leaving Damon?"

My eyebrows quirked. "Um, no. Not like we came with him. Plus, he seems to be in good hands. Let's go." Hand offered, Spencer dutifully slid his into it, bidding his dance partners a good evening. Handcuffs returned to my duty belt, I wanted to glare at them, but managed to wave instead. Justine waved with the tiniest smile ever and Norah just rolled her eyes.


##########


An Imagine Dragons song filling the silence during the drive home, I mouthed the lyrics while occasionally glancing toward Spencer, who was wide awake and staring through the passenger side window. He looked thoughtful, but I had yet to ask him what was on his mind. About four miles from home, he loudly sighed, a reflective expression turned in my direction. 

"When you gonna leave me for him?"

I damn near ran a red light when he asked that. Our bodies jerked after I abruptly pressed on the brake. "What?"

Considering his inquiry, Spencer seemed rather composed. "Damon. You like him, right?"

I nodded. Of course I liked Damon. He was funny, charming, sweet and most importantly an excellent and genuine friend to Spencer. Spending time with him over the summer, it didn't take long for me to consider him my friend as well. "But what's with that leaving you stuff?" Light switching to green, my foot shifted to the gas pedal. With hands responsibly at ten and two on the steering wheel, I carefully drove along the quiet, dark street.

"So you and Damon can be together," he responded, his slur-laced tone suggesting that I should have already known.

They remained at ten and two, but I gripped the steering wheel more than was necessary. "What the hell are you talking about, Spencer? Damon and I don't like each other like that. In case you forgot, I'm incurably in love with you, you dipshit." Despite very little light within my car, I noticed when his eyes widened in shock. "Yeah, I called you a dipshit. And the nerve of you to accuse me of wanting to be with your best friend when you were dancing so damn provocatively with those...girls!"

"That was just dancing. They didn't mean anything to me."

"Neither does Damon to me except for as a platonic friend."

Silence falling between us again, Natalie Merchant's voice sifted through the speakers as she performed her version of One Fine Day. A minute into the track from the corner of my eye I spotted my boyfriend looking at me, automatically tensing as I didn't know what he would state or accuse me of next.

I told myself that these unfounded insecurities stemmed from beer and the vodka used in creating those Jello shots. However...I thought of another quote written on one of my bedroom walls--a drunken mouth speaks a sober mind. If Spencer asked that while under the influence, couldn't that mean he really doubted my love and devotion to him? If so, I found that both hurtful and insulting.

A growl tearing from my throat, I made an abrupt right turn into the empty parking lot of a closed restaurant. Pulling into a spot, I shut the ignition, extinguished the headlights and reached up to flip on the overhead light so that we could easily view one another. Seatbelt unbuckled, I shifted so that I was facing Spencer with my right leg drawn up on the seat.

"What are you thinking?"

He also removed his seatbelt while studying me. "No matter how much I correct her, she'll only call me Harriet. Not even Harry any longer. Said I'm not a real man. I'll never be a man. Name's Harriet not Spencer." Head slowly shaking, he presented me with his side profile when he looked toward the dashboard. "So been thinking...you and D seem close. Maybe you'd wanna be with him instead 'cause he's a real man. Our eyes are both blue, both have dark hair but he's tall, has more muscles, a deep and strong voice, no tits and he didn't hafta buy his junk online. By the way," Spencer glanced toward me, "I've seen his junk and he's very blessed."

"You really piss me off when you get like this." I hated the tears brimming in my eyes as I sent Spencer my most lethal glare. "Breaks my heart that your mother instills uncertainty in you, but, Spencer, I'm tired of you taking it out on me. I want you to talk to me as often as you need, but I do not want to be your emotional punching bag. I have explained to you, I have proven to you that I'm with you because I choose to be, because I love you more than anything and that hasn't changed. Damon's a great guy, but I don't have the slightest interest in him and it's insulting that you believe I could." When he attempted to speak, I flat out instructed him to shut up, which he immediately did.

"You're short, your voice is soft, though athletic your frame is petite, you have tits, which you compress on a daily basis and you wear packers since you lack traditional junk, but you know what? Whenever I look at you, I see the man that I love. Damon can adequately fill a pair of underwear? Great, but in my opinion, a dick doesn't make you a man. And really what the hell is a real man anyway? There isn't a set definition to being a man. They come in all shapes, sizes and personalities. Know what makes you a man, Spencer?" Leaning toward him, I pressed my palm to the left side of his chest. "If in your heart you feel like one. I've been convinced that you do. Has there been a change?"

"No," he whispered, eyes shining as tears escaped my own.

"Are you a man?"

"Yes." Since his voice sounded thick with emotion, he cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm a man, Kels."

"No matter what she says, right?" He nodded. Palm still against his chest, I gently patted it. "Don't you dare let your mother or anyone else convince you differently. You're on the right track and anyone who attempts to knock you off can go fuck themselves. Don't let them get you down, don't let them make you doubt yourself. You just continue being your wonderful self, the wonderful person that I'm in love with." A grin passed my lips. "Even when you have dipshit moments."

Profusely apologizing for his behavior at the Halloween party and within the car, Spencer leaned across the parking brake, wrapping his arms around me. Clinging to one another and murmuring I love you's, we softly wept until our lips met. Several tiny kisses led to more and soon we were making out. Agreeing that there was more room in the backseat, we hurriedly relocated. The overhead light turned off just in case someone happened to wander by, mouths connected, tongues dancing while one article of clothing after another was discarded.

My plan to not succumb for the rest of the night flew out the window, but I didn't care. So sprung.