Everything Upside Down

N I N E T E E N: The Nose

My memories came back surprisingly fast. I remember the first so vividly, though the rest were a blur. My mind had flashed with a pair of ice eyes. That was the first.
Keefe, my memory had echoed.
"Keefe," I had whispered into my sheets.
Everything else fell together like a puzzle, not in any order. And it was weird. Some of the early ones weren't even huge, important ones. It might have been a smirk, a peek of a drawing, even just the feeling of his arms. And it wasn't always Keefe.
Smells of homemade mallowmelt, sticky and new. Presents wrapped with bows and matching teal boxes. Fitz.
Glints of gadgets somehow confusing and simple at the same time. A puff of pastel smoke from another miraculous elixir. Dex.
God, my mind was complicated wasn't it?
I assumed I started to remember with time. Not to mention that no elixir could effect my mind for long. That was one thing Mr. Forkle didn't plan for.
When I first realized what he had done, the hatred was stronger than I thought I could handle. My hands even burst into the same, strange, dark blue flames. Yet through the rage, some part of my mind told to me stop. I couldn't let Fintan know I was getting my memory back.
But it wasn't easy to hide. Especially when they came back during his sessions. I was on the floor again, like usual. The sleeve of my jacket was burnt slightly, but other than that I was okay. Fintan had been flung to the other side of the arena, so I had a few seconds. Before I could even get up, it started.
It was them.
Grady and Edaline, Dad and Mom.
Her light reddish hair shimmering as the sun sets, a fiery salmon color floods the sky. His strong arms chiseled with years of training wrap around the both of us. I giggle and he looks down to me. His eyes usually guarded for reasons I can only guess eyes softened and he smiles.
Slightly.
We're sitting on the cliffs and our feet are dangling adventurously off the edge. The water below us hardly moves, giving the sea a glassy look.
Their smiles, her hair, his eyes, my laugh.
I couldn't stop the tears fast enough.
Fintan groans from only a few feet away and glares at me. His anger turns to suspicious confusion when he sees my tears but my unharmed figure. I quickly wipe at my eyes and stumble up.
He doesn't say anything, but I watch him and Gethen share a look.
Please, I pray, don't let them know.
To distract him from my moment, I hurl a half hearted ball of flames towards his head. Fintan ducks easily and I breath with relief, I'm off the hook.
Or so I thought.
It's only minutes after the session and I'm still walking back to my room. Since the arena is so large, it is a pretty far walk done the hallway. I'm pretending to not notice, but I can see Alvar flickering in and out of the light from behind me. My heart starts racing, but my face stays calm. The door is only inches away when he reappears in front of my face.
I stop suddenly and throw him a sour look. "Yes Alvar?"
He squints his eyes down at me, "Nothing. Just checking in."
"Great," I mumble, "Can I go?"
Alvar nods suspiciously and steps out of the way. I open the door, my breath is already returning to normal when he says.
"God, those Ruewens, so sappy aren't they? I mean I understand that they lost their daughter, but it is honestly pathetic how they act."
That little......
I clench my teeth softly and turn around, my eyes on the ground. "Sorry, don't know who you are talking about." My words sound too forced so I add. "They sound pathetic though, yeah."
Alvar grins widely, "Yeah." he echoed.
I spin around and he catches my wrist, yanking me back. I hold my breath as my face is only inches away from his, trying not to push him away in disgust. It's hard though, since his face also reminds me so much of Fitz, which fills me with heartache.
Alvar looks me in the eyes for a moment before saying, "I know you remember."
I paint my eyes with fake confusion and purse my lips. "What? Remember what?"
His laugh is even more chilling than Fintan's. "I'm not as dumb as my brother Sophie. I can see it in your eyes." He pauses, "I look like him, don't I?"
I cock my head, then shake it. "Not your nose though"
Alvar was thrown off by my confession. "My nose, what-"
My fist lands directly into his nose and Alvar screams with pain. Blood dribbles as freely as a waterfall and stains his collar. I kick him once in the stomach and he crumples to the floor. I glance desperately around and sprint off.
I can't go back now. If Fintan didn't know I remember before, he definitely knows now. Adrenaline keeps me running and I'm shocked to find most of the halls empty. But I know my luck will run out soon. Without looking, I dive into one of the pitch black rooms to my side. Relieved to find it is unlocked, I shut the door and my fingers fumble for a lock.
But once I spin around I realize I made a very, very big mistake.
"Ms. Foster, why am I not surprised?"