Forty-Eight

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We escaped to a hotel in the countryside. They had rented out all the rooms. They wanted to get outside of the city to stay away from any unnecessary fighting, and with every turn we took, driving down curving roads, I imagined that Aro would be standing there, head tilted forward, smiling maliciously, ready to punish me for destroying his kingdom. And as we came around each bend, I'd let my breath go, and trust that my powers had worked their magic.

Carlisle and Esme went into room 102 where everyone was reconvening, but Edward, Alice and Jasper went down one to 103 to drop off the dead. I hovered behind them quietly, peeking into the room, hoping they wouldn't send me away. I wanted to see my mother one last time, I think. Get a better understanding of what happened. Edward looked behind his shoulder after he laid her out on the first bed, then he offered his hand to me to beckon me forward. I walked up slowly but did not take his hand when I got beside him. We stood next to each other and looked down at Bella Swan.

Most of her body seemed okay, but her head was only holding on to her neck by a thread. When I saw her face closer, I realized that her eyes were still moving, her lip was still trembling. "Is she still—?"

He shook his head. His jaw clenched tighter. Then he reached back down to her, and tilted her head sideways to reveal that the entire back chunk of skull was missing. "Fully killing a vampire is a difficult process," he said. "But killing a vampire just enough that they're incapable of living is not so difficult."

"So she is still alive?" I asked.

"I believe so. I've seen this thing happen, and with others, I can see their thoughts, and it's never good..." he quieted down before he said, "I can't read her thoughts. Her shield is too strong."

I had no idea that he couldn't read her thoughts, but I didn't think now was an appropriate time to ask about it. Instead I asked, out of hope, out of selfishness, "Is there a way to heal her? Can we get her back to normal? Or is she going to be like this forever?"

His eyes never left Bella's. "She can't heal from this. Too many parts of her were crushed into dust. Too much of her brain and spinal cord. She will be like this forever if we don't put her out of her pain." And I wanted to ask if he was going to kill her the rest of the way himself, but I didn't think he could handle that question. Alice was sitting on the second bed next to Rosalie and Emmet's bodies. Jasper stood on the other side. They were both watching me. I took a step back, and left the room, and went into the other one where everyone else was showing up.

Someone was sobbing, and the sound was familiar, like the one I hear from my own mouth. I had to push past Carlisle and Esme, to find Renesme sobbing in Mister Smelly's arms, crumpled on the ground, drenched in blood from head to toe. They were all trying to comfort her, uselessly. Paul was there too, in his human form, pacing back and forth. My heart skipped a beat when he stopped and looked at me, but we didn't say anything. My tongue was caught. What was there to say? Everyone around us was devastated, shell shocked at how many people they lost. Even Paul must have lost friends in that battle. I remembered seeing the dead wolf lying there on the ballroom floor, its brown fur coated with blood.

Now just wasn't the time to talk. Too many people had died, and I barely felt it compared to everyone else. They were grieving, and I was jumpy because of a ghost that couldn't possibly haunt me.

I walked past him and patted Carlisle's shoulder to let me get close enough to kneel beside Renesme. "Hey," I said to her, making her hiccup as she looked up at me with puffy red eyes. "Let's get you cleaned up." More tears leaked out on queue, and she let out a sob, but she nodded, leaning into me so I could help her up. With everyone else in shock, and now that we didn't have a mother, I figured the least I could do was help her wash the blood away in the bathroom. It was already drying and cracking across her cheeks, matting her hair. And although Mister Smelly sat with her, worrying over her, I could see that nervous look in his eyes. It was a question he was too afraid to ask, 'what the hell did you do?' But the blood didn't bother me, the monstrous behavior and craze she experienced didn't throw me at all. It was messy for sure, but sometimes so was I.

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