Starlet's Web - Uaries - YES, REALLY

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~    YES, REALLY

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Byron’s motorcycle. I lurched out of bed, afraid to see him. I felt nauseous and ran to the toilet to throw up. Manuel was there in the doorway, watching my reaction.

“You okay?” Manuel asked as he put on his shirt. “Do you want to talk to him?”

“No.” I scanned him, hiding that I was impressed with his muscles, and raised my eyebrows. “But I have to. I work with him. I can’t exactly act like it didn’t happen.” I rinsed my mouth, took two Excedrins, put on my jacket and went outside.

“What the hell, Marie?” Byron demanded.

“I’m really sorry I freaked out but I didn’t want to drink or do it. I was just helping you with the script.”

Byron shoved his hands in his pockets. “You weren’t even turned on. That’s never happened to me before.” He grumbled, “You don’t love me at all?”

“I don’t want to be one of your hundreds. I’m done partying. You’re beginning it. Now, please, leave me alone for the rest of the project. Okay?”

“One of my hundreds?! This is bullshit, Marie!” He shook his head.

“Byron, I’m broken. Just forget about me.”

“No, Marie, you listen…”

“She’s told you to back off for months.” Manuel interrupted from behind me. “Marie, you’ve said plenty. I’ll take it from here. Byron, we need to talk.”

Byron objected, “Damn, Manny, how do you deal with her?”

I avoided eye contact with both guys and went inside. If I searched Manuel’s eyes I would know exactly what he was thinking and I didn’t want to know what he thought of me. If I looked at Byron, I’d feel sorry for him and guilty for being a tease.

I brushed my teeth and got dressed while I heard their muffled conversation. Byron didn’t know what he did wrong. He loved me and wanted to show me. He could tell I wasn’t ready so he was going to do more foreplay to help me. But I freaked out. He was worried that I was sexually shut down from some horrible experience and needed some help working through it.

Manuel explained that I told him to back off. Byron needed to respect my words and not push me all the time to give it up to him. He told Byron that I knew that the Hollywood party life was not what I wanted and I was trying so hard to reject alcohol, to stick with my ‘none or only one’ drink mantra. Manuel asked him to stay away from me.

Manuel returned and sat next to me on the bed. “With your reaction, I thought the worst. Somehow, though, the stuff you’ve seen has traumatized you. Has anything happened to you?”

“Growing up in Hollywood happened to me. I just don’t fit in this life whatsoever. Renee complained to me yesterday about me being a tease. I said I just wanted to kiss and hold hands with the guys I dated. She said there was no middle ground. I either hang out with girls or sleep with the boys. She said I can’t be friends with men.”

“You’re friends with me, Mitch, Franz, and Evan.”

I agreed. “Yeah, but you see me as your sister. Mitch is dating the love of your life.”

Manuel interrupted, “Beth’s not the love of my life. Dating her was a nightmare.”

“Yeah, you guys still bicker all the time. But I see your connection. You’re so protective of her so she can do her workouts without worrying about some guy trying to abduct her.” I asked, “But if she’s not the love of your life, then why did you kiss her?”

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