My friendship for Harry is laying on green grass on a hazy summer afternoon, hot chocolate in winter and swing sets at the park... But my love for Harry is poetry written by hand in leather journals, dried flowers pressed into novels and open button...
A/N: WE HIT 8K WHAT THE HECK! Thank you all so, so much... Truly I mean it.
August 4th, 2019
It's been a little over three weeks living with Harry and it's been exciting but also slightly different to what I'm used to. Sure, I had been living with him for some time now and my toothbrush was in the cup by the sink in the bathroom right next to his and my clothes were hung on the line beside his various button ups and flared pants... But there's something different about actually living with Harry, it's more than my dirty converse next to his by the front door or my shampoo and conditioner sat on the built-in shelf in the shower. It's permanent this time – and I haven't figured out how I feel about it yet.
He's busy with the album so he's either sat at the piano, sitting with his guitar or downtown in the studio with the band. It gives me time to recite my lines in peace and go over scripts without disruption. Not that Harry is a disruption, I suppose he and I just have very different jobs when it comes down to the specifics. Sure, we're both in the public eye and are being watched constantly by paparazzi but at the end of the day he needs sound to work and I need silence to focus on the sound I need to make.
It's strange when he isn't here. Some days I almost feel like I'm intruding on his home, s'pose it just doesn't feel like my own yet. Sometimes, when I know he won't be home for a little while, I walk around the house and examine every inch of dark wooden floors, every piece of highly modernised furniture, the tiled bathroom and tap my fingers at the kitchen appliances. I love being around him, I'm just not sure if I love being around his house. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't get lonely when he isn't here... my mind always wonders on those days. My mind floats and I think of how James is doing, is he okay? Does he miss me? I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I think of Harry, is he stressed writing the album or does he enjoy it? But mostly I think of Dad and how much I miss him. I wonder what he'd say if he knew I was living with Harry. I think he'd laugh. Not maliciously, moreso in an astonished kind of way. I guess when we we're younger Harry and I always quarrelled when we stayed at one another's house... Arguing over whose taking up more room on the lounge or who ate the last packet of crisps. Nowadays I want to be as close as possible to him on the lounge and I would gladly offer him the last packet of crisps before I ate it myself. I'm not sure whether I call it love or maturity – maybe both?
I watch out the window as Chris drives me to my fitting for the Jane Campion movie premiere that was eventually given the name 'One Way Ticket'. I fell in love with my character Naomi from the moment I read the script, I saw so much of myself in her. Her craving to make art the way I desire to act and the way she gave herself away to so many strangers to feel the intimacy she craved so badly; her trust issues set her back. We pull up to a boutique and I step out of the car and make my way to the matte black door handles, opening them to a sickly-sweet scent of sandalwood and vanilla. A slender woman with long black hair approaches me with open arms, smiling ear to ear and I make my way over to her. No one told me my designer was Vera fucking Wang! I hug her as she kisses my cheek and welcomes me, leading me to a room out the back while she makes small talk and raves on about the dresses, I admire how passionate she is. We enter the large fitting room where my eyes lay upon three dresses, all astoundingly different and breath takingly beautiful. I try to contain my inner fangirl but I'm sure my rosy cheeks give it away.
"So! What're we thinking, my dear?" She asks me as she presses her palms together and a small woman with blonde hair stands behind her with a notepad and a pen, I assume she's Vera's assistant.
"You're having a joke if you assume that I'm completely fine and calm picking just one, right?" I say and she laughs, throwing her head back.
She walks over to the first dress, a dazzling emerald green off the shoulder floor length dress with a slit in the back.
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"I designed this dress to show off your naturally tanned complexion while highlighting the travesty Naomi goes through when she moves across the ocean to find herself as both a woman and an artist, I hoped the colour would represent the ocean and just how much it means to her throughout the film." She says as she ushers me come closer, I examine the dress as if it's a piece of art... It most definitely is.
"Then I designed this dress to showcase your stardom... the rapid rise to fame you gained right after pond... This dress is Matilda Jackson, Hollywood's favourite girl." She says as she moves to an off the shoulder, glistening gold dress with small stones of gold.
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"Wait, is that glass?" I question as I peer closer to the dress.
"Mhm! Each shard hand painted a fine gold laquer that will catch the reflection of the flashing cameras, turning them to a dazzling rainbow. The breasts have an invisible fabric that moves the shards of glass up your chest as if the glass follows your collarbones, but it doesn't mean we glue glass to your skin, obviously safely, my darling! The glass represents Naomi's need to find and discover herself... Often we look at the mirror to see ourselves but Namoi feels broken... Her mirror is broken if you understand what I'm saying metaphorically." She says and I smile at her, nodding wildy whilst trying to contain my excitement.
"And then there's this one..." She says as she slowly walks over to the third and final dress. A one sleeved rainbow embroidery evening gown with a slit that stops in the middle of my upper thigh. The various colours sit like paint strokes, fitting for Naomi considering she's an artist. The colourful pattern follows up the chest, almost like flames. I stare at the dress in awe. All three dresses look beautiful and I'd be ashamed to choose just one, but I know I have too.
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"So, the premiere is next week, we startaltering the dress of your choice today to fit you perfectly... Which one will it be?" Shesays softly as my eyes flicker between the three gowns before me. I've neverseen anything like them, let alone wore one like them. Each gown is so different in so many ways... my heart races as I look to Vera who looks at me with her own kind eyes. I just moved in with Harry yet I find this decision to be a whole lot harder.
A/N: RIIIIIIIGHTTTTTTT!!!!! Okay so! Which dress do you think Tilly will choose?? Thank you for reading!!
