Attempt (Currently being edited)

Boston Moore

BostonMoore: 18 Years old: number three runner on the XC team: Hobbies include running, listening to classic rock and annoying his little sister.

He came home from school like any other day, except this time dad wasn’t home. So he did what any other teenage boy does, and no I’m not talking about touching himself that’s gross, he jumped on the couch and put in a video game. When those failed to entertain him he walked into my room. There was still vomit on the floor, no one thought to even clean it up, why would they?

He was the first to open any of the letters I had written. Surprisingly he only took his. I expected him to be a little more nosey. His breath hitched, as he flipped the envelope over to open it. ‘You’re an ass’ was scribbled at the bottom with a winky face. I think it was too soon to put that. “Boston! You’re home,” my fathers’ voice was unrecognizable. Boston turned to face a stranger he had never seen. “Oh Boston…I came home…she was on the floor dying…they couldn’t save her…” Boston looked at him in disbelief.

“Dad, you didn’t even call me? My own sibling who shares the same blood, same DNA as me died and you didn’t call me to leave school? When did it happen?” he demanded, hurt so evident in his voice.

“I found her at ten this morning, then she was rushed to the hospital, oh I am so sorry…I …I wasn’t thinking…I was just so… so…” he trailed off beginning to cry. My dad had always been the emotional one of the family, which made Boston think he had to be the tough guy. He did a damn good job of it too.

“Can I go see her?” he asked, clearing his throat. Dad shook his head, “She’s already in the morgue. You can before the wake, its going to be Thursday,” he struggled to get the words out. I don’t think he even believed what he was saying. Boston nodded and pushed past my father and upstairs into his room. He lay on his bed and pulled out the letter. Taking a deep breath he began to read it.

“Boston,

I hope it is you who finds me; I am a little scared for what will happen if dad does. I remember how he was with mom; I don’t expect him to be like that with me though. I mean I know obviously he will be sad. But he loved mom since he was in eighth grade, that’s a long time, he only loved me for 17 years so I think it will be easier. Anyways, since you are reading this, it means it really happened. I did it. I am free now.

 

After the incident, I was never the same. Like part of me died that night when he stole it from me. I remember lying on that bed crying for so long because it wasn’t supposed to happen like that. Not with him, not at a party, not at such a young age. And then at the police station, when dad had to listen to me tell the cops everything in detail, it was the worst thing in my life. Then came the constant teasing, at first I tried to ignore it I promise. But having people come up to you, handing you money and telling you to meet them somewhere, gets old. But I made this decision last week. It had all begun to die down this past month and I was so grateful. Until the video went around, I know you heard about it. But you always avoided me in school the way big brothers do so. Well I didn’t know he taped it, I guess he didn’t either until he found it. And the tormenting got worse, so many days I left school early because people ‘spilt’ food on me. And then my face was being photo shopped onto kitty porn and all that.

 

 I haven’t been happy for a long time Boston. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Sleep doesn’t even help me, because even if I am lucky to catch an hour or two of sleep its just nightmares. And then I wake up to a nightmare that is my life. It’s a vicious cycle and I don’t expect you to under stand and that’s okay, I’m not asking you to. I am asking you to forgive me, help dad out, kick ass in track this year, graduate at the top of your class, and party hard at college in the fall. There are different types of happiness in the world for everyone. Mine was a forever escape, and I am okay with that. I am sorry I did this to you, I love you so much.