Broken Vows

Chapter 11

Erin sank into the mountain of bubbles erupting from her bathtub and rested her head against the little inflatable pillow she’d suctioned to the wall.  Despite having her own bathroom, she rarely got to relax in it.  Alyssa took more bubble baths in here than she did.

But she had a very important “first date” to prepare for so she’d decided that today was the day to pamper herself. 

Erin couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face at the term “first date”.  It really did seem absurd to call it that when she’d been with Brody for so long.  The idea of a first date usually conjured up images of anxiety, hesitant conversation, and awkward goodbyes.  There would not be any of that with Brody. 

Come to think of it, there never had been any of that with Brody.  Being with him had happened so easily, so naturally, that there wasn’t anything awkward about it at all.  The anxiety. . .well, that had happened for different reasons.  Mostly from her fear that every man she’d ever meet would just be a repeat of her ex-husband.

Thankfully, Brody had shown her in a very short time that he was not just another Tyler.  Once again she found herself petitioning heaven that Brody really was sent from above and that God had good things in store for her.  For them.

What sort of good things she was referring to, she wasn’t quite sure.  She knew her life didn’t feel right without Brody in it and that they were both serious about the relationship.  But what did that mean?

Kelly’s comment about wedding bells echoed in her ears.

Is that what she was hoping for?

It seemed much too soon to even think about such things.  How could she possibly know Brody well enough to even consider marrying him?   As she’d told herself before, she’d known Tyler for years before she’d married him and she hadn’t really known him at all.  At least not in the way that it mattered.

How had she missed seeing him for who he really was?  How had she never realized he was the type of man capable of walking out on his family?  Had he really changed so much over the course of their marriage or had there been signs she’d just been too blind to see?

The bigger issue, the bigger question she needed to answer was: how did she keep herself from being blind this time?  How did she make sure she saw Brody for exactly who he was?

Because deep down she realized that she didn’t want to “play the field”.  She had no interest in casually dating a series of men until she found the “right” one.  She didn’t want her heart to be played with and broken a bunch of times before she found the man willing to commit to her and Alyssa.  And she didn’t want Alyssa hurt in that process either. 

She needed to find that guy: the one who had his heart and priorities in the right place, who was looking for a lifelong commitment to a family, who would love and serve her and Alyssa until he met his maker.

And more than anything, she wanted Brody to be that guy. 

She had to admit, even though she hadn’t realized it, she was hoping for wedding bells.  It just wasn’t in the same lovey-dovey, romantic sense with which she used to fantasize.  Her life and her perspective had changed so much when Tyler betrayed her and it certainly changed the way she viewed a future wedding and marriage.  It was all about the meat in the relationship, about the stuff that truly mattered.  The fluff was gone.   She wanted something that would last.

Despite acknowledging that Kelly was right, it didn’t change her uncertainty.  Did Brody look at their relationship in the same way?  And ultimately, was he really the right guy?