What The Heart Wants (Nick & Demi) (Nemi)

Heart Beating (FINAL CHAPTER)

Demi

After that fight, we pretty much had calm days.. we would walk through the park holding hands, stay at home watching TV while cuddling or visiting our family

I sat down on the couch next to him and held his hand.. It has been 10 months since the incident and I was living anxiously every single day..

Denise was on the other side of him talking with Joe who was next to Kevin

I had a really bad feeling but just shook it off..

- You okay?

I nodded smiling at him - I love you..

The tears were already threatening but I pushed them back

- I love you too.. you're beautiful

I snuggled against him as we listened to them talking

We had dinner together and then just hung out in the living room.. I was in Nick's arms watching them all play when his arm fell off my waist..

It laid limp..

I looked at it and then placed my hand on his chest.. my head on his shoulder

No heart beating..

............

I silently started crying on his shoulder as they all continued laughing and yelling at each other

I couldn't control myself anymore.. I started sobbing uncontrollably and pulled back to grab his jaw

- Please wake up.. - I whispered

I broke down in sobs hugging him and everyone went quiet

That was the worst day of my life and I just cried uncontrollably at night.. The bed felt so cold..

Everything was wrong..

I felt so empty and so small..

Our manager let out the news and the world was in shock..

I couldn't get the feeling of his arm falling out of my mind.. it felt like it was yesterday.. but it wasn't..

I've been trying to get up for days now but I couldn't leave my bed..

It's been fairly a week since I laid my feet on the ground

Getting up for the first time, I just looked around and saw Nick.. Nick's clothes, Nick's clock, Nick's phone, Nick's photo..

Nick's face..

He was dead now.. and I felt like I wanted to go too..

I didn't want to move on.. I wanted him!

Marissa has been here everyday for an hour trying to get me up so when I heard the knock on my door I really wasn't surprised

- Hey Dee.. how are you?

I turned my head and looked at her with my teary eyes - Dead..

She looked down and sighed - Dee.. I know this is the last thing you wanna hear but you have to move on.. You have to live

- I don't want to..

She looked up wiping her tears - I know how he helped you and I knew how he was your world.. but you have to continue.. you're so young Demi!

I shook my head - Leave me alone.. please..

She sighed and walked out stopping at the door - I'll be here tomorrow

I shrugged and laid back down

For days and days I just laid there thinking.. not good thinking..

I couldn't.. it was too much.. I have to..

I walked down and went to the kitchen opening my drawers.. I poured myself a cup of water and picked up the small package

You got me sippin' on something
I can't compare to nothing
I've ever known, I'm hoping
That after this fever I'll survive

I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm praying
That I'm gonna make it out alive

I took one and sipped my water gulping loudly..

I felt numb.. nothing at all..

I took another one and gulped once more..

And another...

And another one..

I felt dizzy by the 20th pill and fell on the ground.. I was drugged.. I was feeling everything spinning..

His words on my head.. "You are strong.. You can move on"

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right, but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up

I shook my head remembering how it felt to wake up alone.. No future ahead..

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all

He made me glow.. he kept me breathing.. He kept me strong.. he was my Ying.. And he was gone

You got me scattered in pieces
Shining like stars and screaming
Lighting me up like Venus
But then you disappear and make me wait

Now I was just a body laying limp on the ground.. dying.. drugged..

I could feel the life go away from me.. I could feel it escape through my fingers and I had no escape

And every second's like torture
Heroin drip, no more so
Finding a way to let go
Baby, baby, no, I can't escape

I couldn't believe how much I needed him.. I couldn't believe how dependent I was of him.. I needed him like a child needs a mother.. Something we will never have now..

But I felt relieved.. I felt peaceful.. I felt happy...

The image of his face shot through my head.. his smile warming me and his hand held towards me.. I somehow got the strength to say..

- I'm coming.. my love..

And then my heart stopped beating..

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THE END!!

I'll post a BONUS after this one :)

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{ ..this is a modern fairytale, no happy endings..}