The Marionette • Chuuya X Reader

42: Sunsets

Cleaned up carefully and washed, you are sure you had never seen so much light in Chuuya's eyes as when he kissed your forehead, watching you fall asleep in a night gown he had helped you get into, your head against his chest as you are lulled away into the world of dreams by the comfort of his arms, exhaustion taking over. Before you completely pass out, you hear the faint whisper of Chuuya's words, his blue eyes away from you with his head leaned against you, a drop of clouded fear in them as he stares off into space though he still holds on to you, his voice soft like a gentle lullaby but so much so you wonder if you are only imagining this moment; if you are so tired your mind is making you hear things so sweet to comfort your hesitant heart.

"...when you asked if I wanted to experience such a human feeling as real love...your dumb self never realized I was experiencing it day by day with you, whether I realized it or not. Though I know you aren't something to own...it feels like I don't truly have you sometimes...and I just needed, no, I wanted...[f/n], will you..."

You fall asleep before you can hear his last words to you that night.

•••

You don't remember ever dreaming with a world so bright, your eyes opening to a sky bluer than the most polished sapphire, light wind blowing a sweet scent all over you, nothing but the ruffle of grass audible. Turning your head to the side curiously at this calm unfamiliarity, your fingers grazing against plants surrounding you, you are surprised by the strong colour greeting you as you sit up from the grass, your hair falling around your face yet pushed back gently by the wind. When you see the view meeting your eyes, a field of roses the colour of the deepest red encasing you, you let out a gasp of pleasure, your heart ready to burst at the overwhelming emotion that passes through you. It doesn't feel quite real, as a dream isn't...but there's something else to it...

Standing up in the field, you walk aimlessly, trying to figure out where you are and it's purpose, the red roses endless until you feel two gloved hands covering your eyes and whispering in your ears.

"Guess who?"

"Chuuya..." you say with a gasp of relief, your heart giddy until the hands come off you and you open your eyes once again, your surroundings completely different now; the wind stopped, the red roses gone and replaced by white ones all dried up and wilted, the dark starless sky only illuminated by the moon feeling like a cage.

Confused, you slowly turn around, your eyes landing not on Chuuya, but on Dazai standing before you, his brown hair unmoving though it falls over his face, his brown eyes glued on you with nothing but a storm of gold spinning inside them, conflict clear though you can barely see much of his face under the shadows cast. Dazai's outfit resembles that of his mafia days, though his coat lays on the floor, the bandages on his face are nonexistent and he looks as old as his present self. Around him, purple hyacinth flowers have blossomed side by side with blackened roses fading out to the dried up, dead white ones near you, as if someone had given up on the white roses altogether only to grow flowers of regret and death instead.

"Did you find all you wanted?" Dazai speaks to you and suddenly you are pulled by a strange force to only end up directly in front of him, your faces inches away from each other, your breathing hitched in bewilderment, his eyes glowing brighter than the moon now.

"I...did...with him. He understands. Even when you said he wouldn't-"

"Is he all you wanted?"

"Y-yes. He is."

"You don't wish you'd stayed over the phone just a little while longer? You don't-"