Markiplier Ego Oneshots

The Deal- Bim Trimmer/Ed Edgar (Request)

This was requested by CraCragirl20 , sorry it's so late! I didn't even know that there was a ship for Bim and Ed until now, it's pretty interesting. I've never really written for the two of them, but Bim was a blast to write. I don't know if I captured Ed being a tsundere the way you wanted him, but I tried and gave them the whole enemies to lovers trope! You wanted something smutty, well this is as close to smut as I'm ever going to write.

Art by crabiplier, this whole fic could be summarized by "Ed, accept the goddamn pride flag".

Warning: LOTS of suggestive content high-key prelude to smut without actually having any smut, cursing, cannibalism (it's Bim), selling babies (it's Ed), cursing, blood and bruises mention, past unhealthy relationship (Matthias), current unhealthy relationship (Ed and his son), jealousy, mild kink.

It started out as purely a business arrangement at first. Ed Edgar got to advertise his "Ed Edgar Adoptallott's Baby Bulk Buy" on Bim Trimmer's mildly run down game show and in return Bim was able to get one or two of his surplus supply once in a while for dinner. Of course, saying that the deal ended that way would be a lie, no matter how much Ed may have wanted it to remain like that at first.

Time and time again, Bim would intrude into Ed's office on late nights while he was finishing work. The businessman was annoyed at first. Bim was a never-ending waterfall of conversation, even though Ed was too busy and tired to reply back much. He couldn't help but listen however, and after their first few one sided conversations he found himself enjoying the sound of Bim's endless chatter (being an orator was part of his job, after all), complete with dramatic expressions and arm waving. Ed still told Bim to get out of office every time the "gameshow shitlord" came by like clockwork, but the both of them knew that the words held no meaning.

So Bim talked. A lot. The minute details of his day, thoughts on his business, latest gossip from the other egos, and of course, ranting about his infatuation with Matthias, the long-time contestant (and consecutive winner) of his gameshow.

Ed's pile of complaint letters were pushed off to the side of his desk. After a while it became impossible to get any work done with Bim around and no matter how many times Ed insisted that he leave, "the sack of shit with the Dollar Store suits" stubbornly refused. So Bim sat on the edge of Ed's desk and continued to rant while Ed pretended (badly) not to listen.

"Matthias was the most beautiful man I met for the longest time ever. His cold indifference just made me want him more, and oh boy, I would have let him totally have his way with me," Bim muses wistfully, uncrossing and recrossing his legs at the knee for the fifth time. 

Ed makes an effort not to stare, but he's glad that his sunglasses hid where he was looking. He huffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Bim Trimmer wasn't that hot, he concludes. But he did have a really familiar face, a face you could trust, a snarky face that'd be perfect to punch, a really, really painfully kissable face. Scratch the last part. Because how could he like someone like Bim Trimmer like that? Impossible.

"This Matthias guy ain't right, he doesn't deserve ya," Ed grumbles, trying not to sound as angry as he felt for someone he never met. 

Bim laughs and shoots Ed a cheeky smirk. Ed could see that the smile didn't reach the show host's eyes however, and Ed frowns more at this observation. Not that he notices the micro-expressions that betray Bim's true emotions, not that he had the details Bim's facial expressions memorized, no, that'd be creepy.

"Wow, I think this is the first time you actually gave me any advice since I've started visiting you. Why do you care? You jealous~?" Bim teases, the metaphorical mask back on.