Never Always (NaNoWriMo 2014)

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Grady

He felt numb. Like he was having an out of body experience or worse, moving around on autopilot. Grady hated feeling numb and avoided it at all costs. But the past couple of days, that’s all he’d been able to feel. Even when Page was around. Even when he was touching her. He was numb. It was an odd sensation, made his fingertips tingle.

“Here.” A bottle filled his view. There was thick green mush inside. “To take the edge off.”

“I’m good.”

“That is the third time you’ve tied that boot. If you’re good, I’m Bullwinkle.”

Grady glanced up at Emory before going back to, yes, tying his boot for the third time. He was stalling and his bandmate knew that. It was why Emory was offering him one of his herbal concoctions but Grady didn’t want it. He didn’t need the edge taken off. He couldn’t feel anything.

He really wanted to feel something. He wanted the fucking edge but it was nowhere in sight.

“Have you told her yet?”

Grady’s hold on the strings tightened, threatening to cut off circulation to his fingers. “No.”

“We’re leaving in the morning—”

“Shut up, Emory.” Grady started on the double knot. “I’m already getting it from Hush, I don’t need it from you too.”

“Then you shouldn’t have asked me to lie for you. I don’t like lying to her. Whatever is going on with you—”

“You have no idea.” He finished tying the knot and sat back in the chair. He didn’t know what arrangement his facial features took but—it wasn’t good. “You have no idea what I’m dealing with.”

“You’re right. Because you won’t tell anyone.”

“It’s my business. No one else’s.”

“If you didn’t want it to be anyone else’s, you shouldn’t act like this. You look like you’re strung out—”

“Well, I’m not. So there’s that.”

“You need to talk to someone about whatever’s going on in your head.”

“I don’t want to.”

“You need to. It’s eating you alive and Page—”

Grady exploded from the seat. “Would you stop talking about Page!”

“Well someone needs to! We’re leaving tomorrow! We signed the preliminary deal yesterday! You’re keeping her in the goddamn dark for no fucking reason! I’m tired of the lies and the stupid secrets! Tell her already!”

“Page isn’t any of your business—”

“She’s my friend. And when she’s texting me asking where you are and I can’t tell her the truth because you refuse to let her in on what’s going on—you make it my business. You’ve made it the whole damn band’s business.”

“Shut up.”

Emory sized him up, arms crossed tightly over his chest. “What’d you do when you finally got around to seeing her last night? Give her the same lines? Deal her the round about? Sleep with her so she wouldn’t ask you any questions?”

“Shut. Up.”

“It’s not fair what you’re doing to her. You get that, right? When she finds out—”