The deafening noise of cymbals crashing together blasts through every intercom of St. Jihyo’s Presidential Academy at 8AM sharp.
“GOOD MORNING SAINTS!” Principal Haseul roars into the sound system, lowering the full-sized golden cymbals in her hands.
The daily morning announcements have officially begun, evoking groans from all over campus. The assisting student directly adjacent to the principal, however, gives her an encouraging thumbs up. Haseul sends Choerry a thumbs up right back.
“I hope you’re all having a delightful start to your morning!” The principal addresses brightly. “Please stand for the pledge…
Students look around in every classroom at each other, puzzled.
“JUST KIDDING, WE’RE A PRIVATE SCHOOL! ...Hahaha. I hate America.” Haseul states plainly into the mic.
“For lunch today,” the principal continues, “we have freshly made tacos. Friendly reminder to no one in particular YEOJINthat you cannot take extra portions of pudding from the cafeteria and sell them on the blacktop,”
Meanwhile, Yeojin in first period leans over to her classmates - “I call it the black market.”
“Oh here’s an important one!” Haseul moves on. “A reminder to the staff. Please do NOT leave the kids alone without supervision. Because sometimes things get a little out of control when they’re left by themselves and I am bombarded with questions from parents that I don’t have answers to because their kids aren’t speaking! And I’m awake at four in the morning on Thanksgiving night wondering what sick freak of nature invented dodgeball as a sport in the first place because children become injured and-”
“Um, maybe I should take over.” Choerry whispers gently to the principal, who’s growing more and more irritable talking about the gym incident from weeks ago that she still knows nothing about.
Principal Haseul cuts herself off, and nods in agreement.
“Anyways, here is your president Choerry with some important announcements!” Haseul slides the mic over to the eighth grader next to her.
“Good morning everyone!” The student body president greets energetically into the intercom, reading notecards in her hand. “Friendly reminder to send your submissions for the yearbook to Yeri Kang via email and not text. This is her official statement: ‘I don’t know how you all have acquired my contact information but text me one more time and I will be in direct correspondence with the FBI.’”
Choerry moves on to her next note card. “Dungeons and Dragons club will be meeting tomorrow-”
“Oh my God we have that?” Haseul breathes, failing at her attempt to be discreet as the entire school hears her comment.
“...Tomorrow at noon for their board elections-”
“Wait can faculty join?” Haseul asks softly yet again, audible over the intercom. Her daughter Yeojin crinkles her entire face in extreme disgust from her seat in Ms. Wong’s classroom.
“Last but not least,” Choerry continues, “Remember that the PTA bake sale is this weekend! Start your winter breaks off right by picking up a cookie to snack on as you walk through beautiful Candy Cane Lane! Baked goods will be sold at multiple stations throughout the neighborhood, so be sure to check it out!”
