tongue-tied and heartbroken ||mashton||

Chapter 4

At lunch, I sat with Luke and Savanna. I couldn't help looking over at Ashton the whole time. Maruca caught my gaze a few times and smirked, and everything like she did, I would look away. Ashton was laughing and smiling and talking to Emma and his friends. God I hated Emma. She was a bitch to everyone at school. I didn't know how she managed to get with Ashton. They're polar opposites. She was a prissy bitch, and he was the sweetest person. He cared about everyone. He was funny. He was talented. He was gorgeous. He was everything she wasn't.

"Michael, mate, just talk to him," Luke laughed.

"Well, that's a lot harder than it sounds," I said, fidgeting in my seat. "Consider the events of the party."

"Oh yeah, I couldn't find you afterwards. And your parents said you never came home last night. Where were you?"

"Well, that's a funny story." I glanced across the lunch room at Ashton. "I got pretty drunk after you and Savanna went off to dance and I bumped into Ashton. We sort of kissed in the bathroom. And then he pulled away, said he had a girlfriend and we should forget it ever happened, and left. I tripped down the stairs and blacked out. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in Ashton room."

"Wait, hold on, you kissed Ashton Irwin, and didn't tell me immediately?"

"I guess it never came up," I shrugged. "Besides, I don't have a chance with him."

"You never know unless you try," Savanna pointed out, shrugging. "I heard Ashton and Calum talking in English this morning. Ash and Emma are having some relationship problems right now. So if you're going to do it, today's the best day before their relationship gets back on track."

I ended up taking Savanna's advice. I cornered Ashton in the bathroom during last period. He looked at me with a worried expression.

"You shouldn't be talking to me," he said. "I have a girlfriend. And I thought we were going to forget the kiss ever happened."

"I can't just forget about it, Ashton," I sighed. "I have loved you since the moment I first saw you freshman year. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Trust me, if I would, I could. But I can't. You're always on my mind and I can't make it stop. And if you don't feel the same, that's fine. But I had to tell you how I felt."

"I'm sorry. I have a girlfriend. You should just forget about me," Ashton said before walking out of the bathroom. I sighed and looked in the mirror at my disheveled appearance.

The days wore on slowly. I avoided my dad by staying at Luke's most of the time. But sometimes he was hanging out with Savanna, so I would take walks around town to avoid going home.

I couldn't stop thinking about Ashton. I saw him with his friends, with Emma, laughing and smiling all the time. It was like he'd completely forgotten about my existence. It was like he'd forgotten about the kiss.

I tried to forget, but I couldn't. I couldn't get the taste of his lips off mine. I couldn't forget the way it felt to be pressed up against him. I couldn't forget the way his cologne smelled. I couldn't forget waking up in his room that morning. I couldn't forget the way he looked with bed head and sleep-glazed eyes. I couldn't forget the way he walked away from me, twice. I didn't want to admit it, but I was absolutely, positively, head-over-heels in love with Ashton Irwin.

On one bright November afternoon, I found myself wandering town while Luke was on a date with Savanna. I found myself walking past a usual Ashton hang out. Sure enough, there he was with his friends. They were playing two-on-two air hockey, laughing. Calum was on Ashton's team, and Maruca was with a girl I recognized as Sierra. It was pretty well-known around school that Maruca and Sierra has started dating recently. I wondered to myself why Emma wasn't with them. Usually she was glued to Ashton's hip.

I found out the reason later that evening.