Held Captive (Harry Styles)

My first time

(Author's note: if you're unaware as to why I've been MIA, my computer decided to break like three times and I've just given up on life itself. I'm using a temp computer while I try to figure out wtf to do with my life. This does mean that I no longer have my stories saved onto my computer :'( so I'll have to re-write everything. Oh, the fun I have with f*cking technology)

The past few days had been filled with awkward avoidance techniques on my part. I had barely seen the others because I was so scared of leaving my room and bumping into a certain curly haired devil. I didn't know what to say to him after our last experience. It was like each time something sexual happened, my awkward side took over and I had to avoid him for days on end. As I sat in my room and deliberated my life, I came upon a not-so-startling conclusion: I was a hermit. I stayed in my room and drew all day, even when I was allowed to leave it and rejoin society. I avoided human beings in general, not just men, and convinced myself that my over-attachment to cats was a normal, acceptable thing. I was a Tumblr girl. That in itself is a worrying statement. We Tumblr folks are known for coming up with the darkest things on the internet and dominating a dark, deep corner of the interwebs filled with my little pony porn, people with no eyebrows and nicholas cage edits. I would like to note that I was never part of the mass movement of pony porn edits and have not/will not contribute to any and all actions undertaken by bronies and/or those involved with the my little pony porn business. That can be taken as my official statement as and when the time comes where millions of sexually frustrated Tumblr folks are arrested for defaming the works of Lauren Faust, the original creator of my little pony. 

I shook my head to clear the derailed thoughts from my mind and pondered what I would do about the avoiding-Harry situation. In all honesty, I was so tired of this back and forth not knowing what would happen mess that I was in. I wanted to be sexually liberated and to take control of my life by charging into his bedroom and estalishing dominance. So that was exactly what I did. 

I marched out of my bedroom, leaving my fears behind as I walked towards Harry's room.

"Nadia! We thought you'd died and started dessicating in your bedroom. Where have you been?" Louis asked, grinning at me as he followed my movements. He knew where I was going.

"Why would you care where she's been, she might as well have died and nobody would care," Stacey or Lacy or whatever the f.uck her name is, sneered. 

"Why don't you go squeeze a used tampon in your eye," I snapped, before busting open Harry's door. He looked started as I closed the door and locked it, before making my way over to him, my hands on my hips as I strutted like a drunk Victoria's Secret model. 

"Are you ok?" he asked. I didn't say a word. I didn't know what to say and I didn't trust my voice at that point. I walked over to the bed where he was sitting and climbed onto his lap. Without a word, I grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me, before placing a kiss on his lips. Did I know what I was doing? Absolutely not. Not a f.ucking inkling. But I didn't care. All I knew was that I could either be the awkward, sexually stunted girl in her bedroom crying about the fact that her Nicholas Cage edit didn't get enough re-blogs, or I could take charge of my life and everything in it. I was sick of being unsure about our friends with benefits situation and feeling used all the time. I was tired of social pressures and social norms depicting shame onto any woman exploring and owning her sexuality and I didn't want to feel shameful about doing something that was so inherently natural to all of us. 

Harry returned the same level of enthusiasm as he kissed me back. I didn't blame him, the most interesting thing he'd done in here that didn't include me was eating his toaster strudel without toasting it and feeling like a badass mother f.ucker as he bit into the cold soggy mess he called a breakfast. Within moments, our clothes were lost in a pile on the floor and I pushed him down onto the bed. I felt uncertain before about what I was ready to do and even now there was a sliver of hesitation in my mind, but I didn't let that stop me. We'd done everything else anyway, the only logical step foreward would be to go all the way. I pulled off his trousers and clenched my hand into a fist to rid myself of fear or hesitation. I wanted to be the sexy girl that was in control of her sexuality and knew what she was doing. I would no longer be that awkward hermit. Harry rolled on top of me some time in between my conflicted internal stream of conscioussness. He continued to kiss my entire body as his fingers slowly pressed against my bundle of nerves, working me up as I arched my back against him.  I reached for the bedside table quiety. If the rooms given to us were all the same, then he too would have the box of durex condoms in his drawer. I assumed that the kidnappers would find it too much of a hassle to deal with a kidnapped pregnant woman, so they provided the tools neccessary to prevent that mess from happening.